“Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say “She doesn’t have what it takes.” They will say “Women don’t have what it takes.” Clare Boothe Luce
When I came to college my mom gifted me a few safety items like pepper spray, an alarm and some other things. Think about it though, how many girls do you see walking around with similar items on their lanyards and book bags? Now think about how many guys you see walking around with these. I personally can’t think of any. We have a relatively safe campus though. During the day you can see everyone walking around talking with friends, people riding bikes, people rushing to get to class and people walking around just listening to their music. Then at night you see people walking alone coming from a late class, heading over to a friends dorm or maybe grabbing a bite to eat. For men, walking alone at night is just the same as walking around during the day. Have they ever feared being alone at night from fear of being harassed or preyed upon every time they walk alone? My guess is for most men they have very rarely, if ever, had this thought. Why is this normal though? Why do women have to walk around in constant fear of danger?
For centuries, women have been see as things men can do what they want with. They had no rights, couldn’t own land, were expected to stay home, do housework, take care of the kids and be there at their husbands’ beck and call. Women finally got some freedom in 1920 when they gained the right to vote. Women had fought for this right and we finally got it so that means we were equal, right? WRONG. In the past 102 years we have got somewhere. Women can vote, go to college, have jobs of their own, own homes and a number of other things. So why do women still have to prove ourselves? Why are we seen as emotional when men are seen as brave? Why are we seen as complaining when men are seen as being helpful? Why are men seen as strong and women are weak?
From a young age we have been told we can’t wear certain things without “distracting the boys”. I mean think about how many times you or your girl friends got dress coded for wearing leggings or your shoulder being out. Now think about today; we put so much effort in to dressing for the male gaze. We are suppose to make sure our butts look great in those jeans and show a little cleavage, but not too much or else we are being slutty. Why is it that men who talk to or hook up with a lot of girls are seen as this awesome guy yet if a women were to get with a lot of guys, they’re seen as a slut? Why are women constantly sexualized and taken advantage of? Did you you know 1 in 5 women in college experience sexual assault? Just think about that, one in five. Meanwhile, only 6.8% of men experience this. Why are so many women targeted and mostly by men? More importantly, why do they get away with it with so much as a slap on the wrist. Why are women not being heard? Maybe because its always blamed on the women. “What were you wearing?”, “Weren’t you drinking, how do you know it happened?”, “Are you just trying to get attention”, “You don’t want to ruin his life, do you?”, are just some of the questions women are asked. We are constantly made to feel like its our fault this happens, and no matter how much evidence you have only about 6% of rapist ever see jail time. It’s always his word versus her word and clearly more women aren’t believed.
It is time for a change. We need to come together and support each other. Start by showing up for women. Whether that is texting your girls and checking up to being a shoulder to cry on. Start protecting women, if you see a woman walking alone at night and seems scared, offer to walk with her and make her feel safe. Be open with each other. Share your experience on things that might be taboo even. There are things some women know that others don’t and by being open and honest, you might learn a thing or two. Spread love. As women, it is common to compare ourselves to each other and tear each other down, so let’s start cheering each other on. Comment on your friends post about how pretty she looks, tell that girl in your class her outfit looks good, even something as small as a smile. Stand up for women. If you hear a comment that is harmful or offensive to women, don’t be afraid to call them out. It’s hard being a woman in a man’s world, but by being supportive and helping each other there is hope that someday women will be just as respected as men.