All throughout high school, I would whine and complain about how I can’t wait to go to college; how I can’t wait to move out of my small hometown, and how I can’t wait to do big things. I had big ideas about how independent I was going to be, about how I was going to be unstoppable. I seemed to have forgotten that I was always the kid at the sleepover who would call their mom in the middle of the night and get picked up. I didn’t want to remember that I would cry every morning in the Pre-K drop-off line because I didn’t want to leave my mom.
As college crept closer, I pushed those similar feelings away. On my first night of college, when I was lying in my twin XL lofted dorm bed and staring at the ceiling, I couldn’t push them away anymore. I suddenly felt like the little girl at the sleepover all over again, except for this time I couldn’t call my mom to come pick me up. I fought with feelings of homesickness my entire first year of college, and to no surprise, the feelings came back swinging my second year. I fell victim to going home every single weekend, to canceling plans to go back to my hometown as much as I physically could.
Reader, I want you to know that I understand how you may be feeling. I understand how it feels to pull out of your driveway with tears in your eyes, how it feels to count down the days until Friday, and how it feels to want your mom like a preschooler. I also understand that the last thing you want to hear is people telling you that you have to stay at your college to fix your chronic homesickness. I hated when people told me that, and I felt like they just didn’t understand. While those people are not completely wrong, there are some other strategies that could help. Now, I am a Junior in college, and while the homesickness isn’t gone, I have gotten way better at combating it. It’s October and I have only gone home once! Here, I have compiled my tried and true tips to help you combat homesickness in college.
1. Make Plans
Weekend plans… They used to be my worst nightmare! While I would often try to keep my weekends clear so I could book it to my hometown, I soon learned that when I had fun plans lined up, going home didn’t always seem like the best option. It doesn’t have to be something extravagant, just something that could rival your desire to go home. Dinner with your friends, a movie night, going out, there are so many options! Plans can also include joining an organization on campus because this will set you up with some fun events to look forward to.
Greek life was my organization of choice, and not to be sappy, but it genuinely did change my life. Now I have exciting events to look forward to and a big group of girls who support me. Fun plans also help to distract you from that homesick pit in your stomach. It genuinely helps to have something to look forward to. While this is not a lasting solution, it definitely helps for the time being!
2. make your space feel like home
I was eventually able to narrow down one of the reasons I missed home so much… It was because I didn’t like my living space at all, and I would way prefer to be at home in my own bed. I get it, dorms kind of feel like prison cells and are hard to make you feel cozy. But if you like your living space a little bit more, it can make a world of difference. Get some decorations, bring some items from home, and put up some pretty fairy lights, or some posters of something that you love. I am not ashamed to admit that I brought several stuffed animals and blankets from home to my dorm during my first two years of college.
Another idea is to print off some pictures that remind you of home and hang them up. I had a little Polaroid picture of my family dog I kept on my desk, and it helped to have a little piece of home there with me.
3. find something familiar
I understand that on some days, you don’t want to fight the homesickness, you just don’t have the energy. And that is okay. It is okay to let yourself feel the feeling. While I don’t recommend reveling in it, you can help yourself feel a little less homesick by trying to do something familiar, something that feels like home. Cook a meal that you always have at home, listen to music that reminds you of your childhood, or watch a TV show or movie that reminds you of home.
At my house growing up, we watched a lot of 80s movies and TV shows, so on the days when I just couldn’t pretend like I didn’t want to go home, I would accept the feeling, and make myself feel a little better by watching an 80s movie. This helps connect you to your home without really going home, and it really works.
4. lean on someone
I know that homesickness is hard to go through alone. The pit in your stomach, the constant melancholy feeling, not being able to enjoy anything because you just want to go home. I know it all. And you should not try to go through it alone. Find someone you can talk to about your feelings, whether that’s a friend you have in college, a therapist, a significant other, or a family member you can Facetime. No matter what, it is important to have someone supporting you.
I wouldn’t have been able to get through my stages of homesickness and I truly think I would have dropped out of school if it wasn’t for my sister. She was always there for me, talked with me about anything and everything, and supported me through it all. Honestly, maybe she should be the one writing this article because she gave me so much good advice, so a very special thanks to her.
5. be patient with your feelings
Even as a Junior in college, there are still some nights when I feel like the kid getting dropped off for preschool again. Don’t expect to shake these feelings once and for all, because they don’t fully go away. But, I see that as a good thing. How beautiful is it that you have loved family, friends, and home so much that you can’t stand to be away from it? It’s a gift, really, reminding you of how much you love your home. Homesickness in college is a journey, and it is not linear. You will have good days, you will have bad days, and you will have normal days. The key is to be patient and understand that just getting through every day is a win.