Does anyone else get terrified of the thought of picking a career at 18 years old? It absolutely scared me
and honestly, it still does. I left high school thinking that I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I
wanted to go to BGSU and become a music teacher, specifically a choir teacher. I came to BG and started
taking all the music education courses and found that I actually hated teaching music. But, what now? I
still wanted to sing…my vocal teacher thought that vocal performance would be a good path. Vocal
performance, here I come. A full semester of that and I began to realize that I am completely lost. I have
no idea what I want to major in, and I have to take a break from this whole reality and school thing. So to
Disney I went! I spent a semester there as a photographer in animal kingdom. It was an incredible
experience. The most challenging and rewarding 5 months of my life. I came back thinking photography
was where I wanted to put my brain power. I started taking those classes and then realized…again…this
isn’t what I want. In the process of all of these majors and confusing times came two hospital visits, three
different medications, two therapists, and LOTS of crying.
I really had no idea what I was doing, and to a degree, I still don’t. College is not easy. It has taken a huge
toll on my mental health and my relationship with myself. I racked my brain to try and figure out where I
wanted to be in life. Do I want to stay at BG? Do I want to even stay in college? If I’m staying, what the
heck am I going to get a degree in? I ride the struggle bus friends, but I know that I am not alone. If
you’re experiencing confusion about where to go next, if you want to stay in college or in your
major…you are not alone. It is 100% normal to be questioning these things at this time in our lives. No
college plan is linear. There are going to be bumps in the road, confusion, and setbacks. It sometimes
feels completely hopeless but I promise, things will turn around.
I decided to take a hard look at my life. I started to do things that I remember loving before I got to
college. I started to read for pleasure again, I started to paint, write, delve into musicals and sing at the
top of my lungs to a song that conveys all the emotions that I don’t know how to put into words. Doing
these things, and talking to my family at great length, helped me to realize that the answer has been
right in front of my face the whole time. I was just too scared to do it. It is so hard to let yourself truly be
and enjoy the things you love about yourself and that you enjoy doing. I love to write, I love to read, I
love the meaning that words hold, and I want to have a hand in creating some of the most beautiful
sentences that I have enjoyed reading since I was little. English is the route for me. It took three years, three
majors, one semester off, and a summer in Disney to figure it out, but gosh darn it, I made it.
There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of if you decide to change your path a year or two in. It is an
incredibly hard thing to do and so admirable. There are so many people that are in the same boat
whether they want to admit it or not. You’ve got this friend. If I can do it after a consistent long ride on
the struggle bus through college, you absolutely can. Take a deep breath, take hold of the hand of 18
year old you, and take a step forward. One step at a time, we are here for you. We support you, we
believe in you. No college path is linear, it’s a little jagged, a little twisty turny, and you know what…that
is 100% okay.