Dating in college is… well, an experience, to say the least. As a college sophomore, I am not the most well-versed or qualified in the matter, but I have had my fair share of experiences.
Before I left for my first semester of college, I vividly remember my grandma offering me some sage guidance. Amongst the heeds of putting myself and academics first, the greatest piece of advice that stuck with me was her wisdom on relationships and dating.
As we sat on her white floral couch, Diet Coke cans in hand, she explained to me, “You’re going to have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.” I giggled at the cliche of her warning at the moment, but I now realize how true her words were.
Frog #1: The Archer
I met the Archer on a popular dating app, Hinge. Like most swiping is done on dating apps, it was a group effort between my friends and me. The council ultimately decided it would be best to just accept his “like” and see what happened, so that’s exactly what we did.
Two days later, my friends and I began talking about how amazing Raising Canes sounded and decided we would go there the next day. I jokingly said I should invite the Archer… and my friend told me it would be a great idea… so, I whipped out my phone, shot him a text, and invited him with our group of friends. To my absolute surprise, he agreed. The next day, we met outside of my dorm building—and by “we,” I mean eight people, including my dear friends M and S, then myself, and the Archer. From the get-go, I could tell it was going to be an interesting time.
I volunteered to drive the Archer, M, and S. Now, there is one thing you should know about me: I am not known for my parking abilities. So, after a long and treacherous drive, I pulled into the lot and drove right over the curb, causing the Archer to hit his head on the ceiling of my car. I had never experienced such silence, and I have never felt so awkward in my life.
We then got out of the car and headed inside. The line to order was quite long, so we patiently and silently waited. Finally, it was our turn. I walked up, assuming the Archer was right behind me. I ordered my meal, and I looked to my left—no Archer. To my right? No Archer to be found. I looked behind me, and there he was, still in line. I gestured for him to come up. He ordered. I looked at him. He looked back at me with a blank stare. Grabbed his drink cup. Walked to the soda fountain. Filled up his drink. He then headed to the table my friends were at, leaving me at the counter to pay for both of our meals. I did not mind doing so at all, but I did look back at my friends sitting at the table and saw their mouths had fallen open at what just happened.
After filling up my cup, I walked back to the table we were all at and sat next to the Archer. I tried to strike up a conversation with the Archer, but he was quite engrossed in his phone. I glanced over his shoulder to see what was on his screen. I thought maybe he was texting, maybe doom scrolling—but no, he was playing Clash of Clans. He continued to play the game for the entire meal, occasionally muttering “oh, cool” or “uh-huh” as my friends and I talked, only showing excitement when something good happened in his game. Needless to say, we did not talk after this venture.
Frog #2: Rigatoni
I met Rigatoni through a mutual friend and ended up dating him for a short time. There are a lot of stories I could tell about Rigatoni, like how he ended up sending nudes to one of my now-friends while we were dating, but I will keep it to just these two stories.
On one of our first dates, we went to O’Charleys after school. I wasn’t particularly hungry, so I settled for water—and only water. Rigatoni, on the other hand, got a lemonade and ordered the Seafood Combo Platter. We chatted, and our time was pleasant… until the bill came. Rigatoni patted himself down, searching for his wallet. He could not find it anywhere, even after going out to his car to look while I stayed at the table, looking apologetically at our saint of a waitress. They did not take Apple Pay either, so the bill fell into the lap of me and my singular water. The total ended up being around $40.00, and I did not get paid back. To make matters worse, he “found” his wallet on the floor of his car not even five minutes later.
One thing to note about Rigatoni: he is a car guy to the extreme. I am anything but a car person… I know the basic functions of my 1999 Camry, and that’s it. Well, on one of our final dates, we were simply around, and he would not stop talking about cars. Like, I’m talking 45-plus minutes of straight car talk, with me not even being able to get in one word. I had the aux, so I slowly kept turning the volume up more and more, but he continued to yap louder and louder. At a loss of what to do, I put on Don McLean’s song “American Pie” and began singing. Instantly, he shut up. Though I had to sing for 8 minutes and 42 seconds, it was well worth the silence.
Frog #3: Hammer
I am a Marvel fan, but I used to be an even bigger fan than I am now. So, when Thor: Love and Thunder came out, I was determined to see it. Unfortunately, the friend I was supposed to see it with canceled last minute due to being sick. So, I called my other friend, T, and asked if they would be interested in seeing it with me. T could not, so I just decided to go by myself. However, T started acting very suspicious, calling me several times, asking when I would get there, where I would be sitting, and even asking which car I was driving.
I was off-put by this, but continued about my business. I bought my ticket, sat in my seat, and prepared for the movie. T continued to blow up my phone, and I was getting annoyed. I glanced at the last text message they had sent—it said, “give him a chance.”
All of the pieces suddenly fell together at once, so I checked SnapMaps.This guy, Hammer, one T had been trying to set me up with for months, was at the theater. In the theater parking lot, to be exact. I was livid… but I had also just spent $12 on a ticket to see this movie, so I didn’t budge.
I scanned the empty theater as the previews were playing; there, alone in a corner, hood up, sat this man. I had never been so intimidated in my life. In hindsight, I probably should have left, but I didn’t. I texted the friend I was originally supposed to go with what was happening in case I needed backup and remained seated through the whole film. I would peek over my shoulder every once in a while to see if Hammer was still there… he was, and often looking at me or his phone.
I don’t know what the point of Hammer being there was or what he or T thought was going to happen, but it was still an awful experience. I ran to my car after the movie was over, and that was the end of that… until T’s Christmas party where his dad pulled both of us aside and told us to “address our differences…” But that’s a story for another time.
I have kissed many frogs– many more than the three I discussed. There have been frogs who have ghosted me on my birthday, frogs who have sent one too many consecutive unanswered “you up?” texts, frogs who told me my spirit animal was a chameleon because of my “pretty little eyes,” and frogs who have kissed me in their ex’s bed.
Yes, I’ve kissed plenty of frogs, but it was well worth it to kiss the right “frog” and find my “prince.” I truly could not be happier and have never felt so loved, respected, and cherished.
I hope this acts as a beacon of hope to you, my dear reader, as you adventure out into the swampy, uncharted territory of dating and begin your own frog-kissing journey. Give it time, have fun, and collect some stories along the way. You’ll never know who your prince (or princess!) may be!