This December I will be graduating from BGSU with two undergraduate degrees…. can you say, YAY?!?
I will hold a Bachelor of the Arts in Music (I study Opera Performance) and a Bachelor of Science in Human Development and Family Studies.
When I first came to BGSU I was solely an Opera Performance major and I was obsessed with it. I had the passion and drive to make something of myself in the performance world, and, the talent scholarship to get me through undergrad. I did not have my mind set on anything other than music.
After about a year as a music major, I started to feel unfulfilled, antsy and discontent with what I was doing. I could not figure out what was wrong with me. I was just starting what was sure to be a challenging, but oh so rewarding journey of my dreams, and I was miserable. I had everything I wanted for my undergraduate experience; great music major friends, professors with unbelievable credentials to learn from, more performance opportunities than I could say yes to, and yet, I felt so empty.
So, I started talking about my dissatisfaction with my life to the friends, family and mentors I trusted most. Virtually everyone said the same thing; “did you ever consider that there could be life beyond music?”
Ummmm…No.
No, I did not
Everyone *except me at the time* knew that I would always utilize music in my everyday life, no matter what I was doing professionally; music is simply a part of me. I started to realize that when I was relying on singing and performing for my income, it took the joy away from the process and journey of creating music. I will always stand by my belief that music is about creating, communicating and connecting. I felt as though some of my permission to use music for that purpose was taken from me when I was relying on mass producing my craft in order to gain an income I could survive on.
When I allowed myself to consider life outside of music, I discovered so many wonderful interests, passions, skills and gifts that I possessed, that I was too close minded to see before. I spent HOURS meeting with my professors and mentors. I got used to the sick to my stomach feeling that came with showing up to walk-in hours at virtually every advising office on campus. I made countless pros and cons lists with friends about what it would mean to walk away from a career in music performance and pursue something new. I went through more boxes of tissues crying to my parents about needing to change my major but having NO CLUE what to change it to.
It is a distressing feeling to know that you HAVE to make a change, but, lacking clarity about the specifics of what all is involved in that change. I hate ambiguity. I bet you do too. It’s uncomfortable.
At the end of all of my agonizing, of course, God guided my steps and led me to the Human Development and Family Studies Program. Human Development and Family Studies is a relevant and progressive field, as it looks at the individuals development and experience, within a family context, throughout the whole lifespan. All I knew was that I loved humans and wanted to help them. This degree seemed like the broad and all-encompassing answer to me not knowing much more beyond that.
I dove in, not knowing if this would be the biggest mistake of my entire life, or the biggest blessing. I could have NEVER guessed that just two and a half years later, I would be ready to graduate from BGSU (in four years, thank you very much) feeling not only satisfied, but also, purposeful and passionate to depths that I did not know possible. The last several years as a double major have blessed me with opportunities to give three vocal recitals AND travel abroad to study group formation and cohesion in a cross cultural setting. Opportunities to perform the Brahms Requiem, Beethoven’s Nineth, and Carmina Burana AND work as a Direct Service Professional for Ohio’s Department of Development Disabilities. Opportunities to teach vocal and piano lessons to kiddos AND give a TED Talk that encourages others to stop viewing themselves as a one dimensional being and embrace their God-given gifts in their fullness. An opportunity to be a Music Therapist at a Hospice Center; which, in case you didn’t put it together, is a PERFECT intersection of both of my degrees.
Ever since I decided to open myself up and not live with such a one-tract mind, I have been able to enjoy a fullness and depth to life that was missing when I limited myself to only be allowed to study and master one thing for the rest of my life.
So, I want to ask you too, what other things are you missing out on because you are closed off and scared? I promise, no one else in this room is nearly as committed to the limitations you have put on your life as you are. You are a multi-dimensional being; with many skills, challenges, passions, weaknesses, gifts and dreams.
As I am in the double digits when it comes to days until graduation I couldn’t imagine my undergraduate career being anything other than a period of the highest highs and the lowest lows. Every moment of this journey, even the scary self-discovery ones, have led me to be able to grab hold of the opportunities in life that best encompass who God made me to be.
In January, I will be starting BGSU’s Graduate Program in Interdisciplinary Gerontology, with a Specialization in Long-Term Administrative Care. I am positive that just as I found to be true of my undergraduate experience, I currently cannot begin to fathom what awaits me in the next two years of graduate school. I can’t wait to find out. If my undergrad experience taught me anything, it was to be open to the world of abundance and opportunity before me. I am empowered to be able to allow my self-awareness, goals, passions and desires, to shift and grow as I go through each experience presented to me and learn more about myself and the world around me.
My wish for all of my other college friends is that they, too, would use this unique and precious time to explore the world of possibility around them, and, create a path and life for themselves that is meaningful and purposeful for their individuality.
THAT is what college is all about.