I don’t want this article to sound sad, because it’s not. I want this piece to empower you and to inspire you to be alone. What I mean by being alone is challenging yourself to go out of your comfort zone, it can really help you find who you are. I genuinely enjoy doing certain things alone. I like going to the store alone; clothes, books, thrifting, grocery, etc. One of my personal goals in life is to go see a movie alone. I like to romanticize the idea of being alone. I can do all the things I want to do without someone telling me otherwise.
I feel like I grew up learning how to be alone. I spent my early and regular teen years tucked away in my room (of course by choice, at this age who doesn’t). This isn’t a sappy sad story; this is more of a self-help way of thinking. Coming to college I realized that not everyone was isolated at one point in their life, I feel as though this can possibly be a side effect of growing up with divorced parents. Okay, enough with the sap, this isn’t a sad article, this is supposed to be inspiring.
Having friends and doing things with friends is great, it’s amazing really. However, there is the importance of being alone. I find it important to have a healthy balance between being around people, like your friends and family, and being alone. This can be scary for some people, I get it, there are so many scary things out in the world that can deter one from doing things alone. I still find it important to be alone, you can find out new things about yourself when you are alone. I think it is important to find these things, especially at our young age and because “college is where you are supposed to find yourself.” You all know how I like my lists, unless this is the first time you are reading one of my pieces. Then hello, and welcome to another list. This list is inspired by a post I saw on Pinterest and how it is correlating to my life recently. Here is my official list of 10 things to do alone as a college girl.
1. Go to a movie
I feel like this is like the first steppingstone into doing things alone. You’re in a dark environment so no one can see you or that you are alone. I know that a common fear of being alone is the judgement from other people being alone. At the movies you can be alone in a dark room eating your favorite snacks enjoying a new movie that maybe you’ve been dying to see, but no one else is interested. It is also important to know that just because other people may not be interested in whatever movie you want to see doesn’t mean you can’t go see it or have to wait to watch it when it goes onto streaming platforms and watch it in secret. Or you could go by yourself simply because you don’t like when other people talk to you during movies. This is a personal goal for me to accomplish and I want others to know that it is not unattainable. I haven’t gone yet because there hasn’t been a movie that I have been dying to see.
2. Take yourself on a dinner date
Treating yourself to dinner is a fun way to celebrate your accomplishments. You can take yourself on a dinner date literally whenever you want. You don’t have to coordinate with others, you can go to a place that is maybe your favorite that your people maybe don’t like as much. Sometimes, you don’t even need a reason to take yourself out. Who needs to make dinner when someone else can do it for you? Also, I have found that I really like to people-watch and that dinner for one can be a perfect opportunity for that. Taking yourself to dinner can be an act of self care, you can order whatever you want, maybe a fun appetizer or dessert. The menu is your oyster, so take hold of it and celebrate taking yourself out.
3. Go to the gym (if you’re into that)
I know not everyone likes the gym, no biggie, no one said you have to do everything on this list. However, I like going to the gym by myself. I get to do whatever I want, and I can also skip movements I don’t like ;). I find that going to the gym alone can also help with my own discipline. Like when I know I should add more weight to my workouts I feel guilty because if I were training with some friends, they would push me to do heavier. It also just feels empowering to go by yourself because no one else is forcing you to go, you can go on your own free will. Or if you like workout classes, you can do that too! Maybe you will try out a different class and find something that you really like! It doesn’t have to be scary to do things on your own.
4. Clean out your closet
I know I need to do this really bad. I have so much stuff that I need to go through. I feel like going through your clothes or just organizing your closet can help you find a sense of you style. I know I have a hard time picking out outfits or finding my style every now and then. The best part is that no one is telling you to go buy a new wardrobe; you can practically find one in your closet! This isn’t as scary to do alone because it is in the comfort of your own room, but it can help to do it alone. When cleaning out your closet alone, I feel like it can be easier to decide on whether you like something or not, I know I have a hard time of making my own decisions and deciding if I like something or not. It can help create a sense of self to know that you like everything in your closet. Marie Kondo it if you really need to. If it brings you joy, keep it and if not, throw it away (or donate, preferably donate actually).
5. Go window shopping (unless you want to buy stuff, then go for it)
This can be SO FUN. Just go to your local mall or shopping center, or even Target and just look around. No one said you have to buy anything. This also helps me get a sense of myself because I’m looking at the things I like and I am judging them based off of how I feel about them, not how others want me to feel about them. I am the type of person to always ask someone their opinion about something before I buy it or even think about buying it. That isn’t the best because then I rely so heavily on what others think of me and I have no sense of self. That’s not good because how am I supposed to be an individual if I am always making sure I wear what other people like and not me?!
6. Go for a drive and listen to music
This is one of my favorite things to do when I want to be alone. I find it helps because it is quite literally just me in the car, no strangers, no public places (if I choose because I am the one driving), I get to choose literally everything that happens. You can listen to anything you want, music or podcast, or even the radio. You can discover new music, new ways to get around town, or even familiarize yourself with a new town nearby. I think this is a great way to spend some time with yourself and show your true colors because literally no one is watching or close enough to judge. Personally, when I am in my car, I feel like I can go anywhere and that there are so many possibilities. Think about it, you’re singing your heart out to your new favorite song, you get hungry. No worries, you can go get food wherever you want! Not only do I find this to be a good way to spend some time with myself, I also think this can also be a fun stress reliever.
7. Learn a new skill
Okay, I know this one sounds like every other self help book you’ve read. Hear me out. Over this past summer I learned how to do my own nails. I’m talking gel x, trying out designs, did them on my friends, the whole shebang. I had such a fun time learning how to do this because a. It has saved me SO MUCH money, b. I get to spend time alone with myself, c. I get to let my creative juices flow. Learning a new skill could be literally anything. There are websites to help you learn new skills, the one that comes straight to my mind is learning a new language, but that is a lot of commitment. It doesn’t have to be something huge; it can be whatever you want. Learning a new skill can also be a hobby, its about finding something that YOU like, something that brings YOU joy. This entire process is about you and what you want to do and are comfortable with.
8. READ
This could also be considered a new skill. Not everyone likes to read and that is okay. I didn’t like to read until I found the genre/authors that I like. Really you can kill two birds with one stone here. If you don’t like to read, but want to get into it, here’s my favorite way to find a new and exciting book. Go the bookstore or library alone. Pick out some books that catch your eye, whether it’s the title or cover art. Once you have your pile go sit down at a reading spot and read the first chapter of each book, then pick out your favorite. Boom, you just picked out your next book and you did it alone. Finding out your new favorite kind of book can help find new interests also. Say a character does something you think sounds cool, go try it and see how you like it. No one said reading had to be boring.
9. Plan a new trip
I know I am mainly talking to broke college students. Hear me out, find a new place to add to your bucket list. You can essentially create an itinerary of what you would want to do at this new place. You can be as creative as you want or make it like a business proposal. Thinking of this idea reminded me of what it was like to make believe or play with toys when I was younger. No one is saying you actually have to go and do it, but it’s fun to have ideas and be creative. I have seen so many influencers go on solo trips and it looks so fun. You could discover your new place to escape too, mentally or physically. This is definitely a huge step to go on a trip alone, yet I feel like you could learn SO MUCH about yourself. Seeing a theme here?
10. Deep dive into a random topic
Lastly, if there’s something you want to know more about, go learn it. I personally love to do random deep dives. It mainly is on actors who I can’t figure out where I have seen them before but then I dive into their Wikipedia and just know random facts on them. For example, I am obsessed with Shrek the Musical (I know, just hear me out for a second), about 10 years ago was when my obsession started and I did a deep dive on the cast of the recording I watched. Daniel Breaker played Donkey and I just went ham on his Wikipedia. I learned where he went to school and about his family. Okay, that sounded creepy, but you know what I mean, just learn the random things about random things. Wikipedia has a page for almost anything. Not only can you learn about other things, but you are finding things that spark your interest, which is good to know about yourself.
Wow, okay, well that was a lot of info. I didn’t know I could write that much about being alone. I guess I really do like learning about myself. That really is the biggest takeaway here, it’s all about learning about yourself. I feel like I am learning more about myself every day. Remember you can’t learn about yourself from others, you are the only person who knows you the best. Being alone can be scary, but don’t let it terrify you. Also, just because I gave you these ideas to do alone, you can do every one of these things with someone, whether that be a friend, significant other, or family member. You don’t have to be alone if you don’t want to. :)