Ever since I was younger, I’ve been in the business of comparing myself to other people – especially the other women in my life. I compared myself when my grades weren’t as good as my older sister’s, and I wasn’t as athletic as my younger sister, when I wasn’t as artistic, or creative, as my older brother – I compared. I took this comparison game all the way to high school, even. When I felt like I studied just as hard as the other girls, but everyone seemed to be getting better grades than I was; when I felt like other girls were more involved in more extracurriculars and service opportunities than I was.
I never realized that I was always comparing myself to other people. I wanted what other people had. I was never unhappy for the accomplishments of others, I just wanted to be as happy for my own accomplishments.
Coming to college was the exact wake-up call I needed. Something about my mindset shifted – the way I saw myself, the way I viewed other students and my own friends – it changed. To say that coming to school humbled me and my little comparison game would be the understatement of the year. I was given encouraging professors and instructors, an amazing, selfless group of friends who have never stopped pushing me to do better, and so much more. They taught me a couple of really important lessons.
The first being that there is nothing to compare. Our bodies, our minds, our aspirations, and our passions are all completely different. Comparison doesn’t work when there is nothing to compare. Everyone is their own, individual, person that has nothing to do with someone else. The second lesson that my beautiful friends have taught me is that encouragement is my best friend. It feels good to be happy for the people surrounding us without worrying how their accomplishments will “take away” from our own.
All this is to say that someone’s beauty doesn’t take away from our own. Someone’s good test score doesn’t negate our own intelligence. Celebrating yourself and those surrounding us in tandem is one of the greatest joys we have. There is enough room for all of us on this beautiful earth, and playing the comparison game is a waste of time.