Your 20s are supposed to be the best years of your life, right?
No, at least so far I don’t think so. Growing up, you are around people your own age and everyone is basically doing the same thing, and at the same pace. But now, there is no right way to do things, and with the internet too, especially in this age of everyone becoming an “influencer”, it’s hard not to compare your life to others.
This semester I have really felt the weight of being in my 20s. I graduate in December and honestly, I have no idea what I am going to do. I will have a degree in Political Science and one for Sociology, and no I will probably never run for an elected office in my life (I get asked this question a lot). Trust me I have ideas but the moral of the story is I don’t have my heart set on one thing, I thought about law school but honestly, I need a break, I am and never have been someone who likes school. I also do not have the funds or attention span for law school either.
Some of my best friends are graduating this semester (shout out Anna and Alexis I love you both dearly), and it is bittersweet. It feels like just yesterday I met Alexis my freshman year when I moved across the hall from her. Fast forward a few years and she is still one of the best people and friends I know. Since I’m graduating early (never thought I would say that), I will be honest, I’m not ready I still feel like a kid. I turned 21 a few months ago and I thought that was crazy. Now you are telling me by the end of the year I will be done with school and move on to “bigger and better things??
After I graduate college I know I will get some kind of 9 to 5 job (that I hopefully don’t hate) which is kind of scary to think about. I really do like to work, but I have been in school for the past 16 years of my life. In high school I was a student-athlete, I worked part-time, and my biggest passion was Art. In college, I joined this organization and double majored, and worked part-time. I don’t remember a time before I had school in my life and now I am off into the real world and feel overwhelmed and lonely. Maybe it isn’t a sad lonely thought, maybe I just need to think of it differently. Even though we might not all be in the same place as the people around us, we need to celebrate our own successes and not compare our lives to our friends or those we see on social media.
Speaking of social media I swear I get on Instagram or TikTok and I see people my age or older (honestly sometimes even younger people which is wild) are getting engaged, getting married, having a baby, buying a house, and here I am sitting in my apartment eating ramen noodles procrastinating my homework and the endless amount of research projects I have. I always feel like I am never doing the right thing and I’m behind. It is so hard to feel satisfied when everyone around me seems to be thriving at this whole life thing and so far ahead of me. As we know though, social media isn’t always real, sure there are some genuine content creators out there, but for the most part everyone paints themselves in the best light.
Take me for example, you would never know it by looking at my social media, but I am usually struggling. I have crippling anxiety and depression that makes me not want to get out of bed some days, I have PTSD that makes it hard to trust others and even myself as well as not feeling comfortable in my own skin sometimes. I also struggle to eat, exercise, and drink enough water, and most days my focus is everywhere but on what I actually need to be doing. I am not telling you all of this for you to feel bad for me, I am telling you this so you know you are not alone. You might relate to me in some ways or not at all but we all have our struggles. And I know, I know, everyone always says that “you aren’t alone” but when nobody else is actually talking about their day-to-day struggles OF COURSE you are going to feel alone. Even though I have some pretty great friends, an amazing boyfriend, and a supportive family, it is easy to feel alone in your 20s. This is unchartered territory and let’s face it nobody likes change. I am slowly learning however that change, especially in your 20s is inevitable. So far my 20s have been crazy, to say the least and I have a feeling it is only going to get crazier. But hey, at least we are in this together, or get at least be there to support each other because we are all learning how to be ourselves.