Now, when it comes to dating, I am no expert, but I might be a certified expert in failed talking stages. If you don’t know what the talking stage is, the best way to describe it is when you and someone else have an interest in one another, and you both communicate to get to know each other better.
Sulaiman describes it as “the period where two people who have expressed a mutual romantic interest in each other, get to know each other on a level deeper than friendship, to help them decide their next steps.” Which is also just code for a lot of confusion between people.
This term was coined by Gen Z, which takes the pressure off of dating individuals quickly. But, people still get confused between talking and exclusively talking to each other. And what I mean by that is, if someone is just casually talking to a romantic interest, it doesn’t mean there are any obligations. You are in the phase of getting to know each other, and can still talk to other individuals.
But when it becomes exclusively talking, that means you all have expressed a mutual interest of just getting to know each other and no other people. So, why is this so confusing? Because during the casual stage, people tend to have a hard time just being casual. And if a person is not looking to just be casual, then stop going into the “talking stage,” with expectations of a relationship.
I know for me, I am not interested in the talking stage because I can’t go through another “What are you doing?” question every five seconds, or the “What’s your favorite color?” stage of my life.
Usually, most individuals who are in the talking stage want to explore not only their options but themselves as well. It is important for you to understand what you like/dislike about individuals when it comes to serious relationships and the talking stage can help with that.
Also, with the talking stage there is no time limit on how long a person should communicate with someone. Follow your instincts, if it’s meant for you both to continue talking, then do so. But if you want a relationship, and the other person doesn’t, don’t try to force it, and let go of that “talking stage,” because it’s not going any further.
If talking stages are not for you, then don’t get involved with them because it just makes you more confused about your feelings. Also, if you are entering the talking stage, do not go in with any relationship expectations, don’t set a time frame, and do not waste anyone’s valuable time if you are no longer interested.
This could all be simple if we were honest with ourselves about our feelings towards other individuals (but that’s another topic).