In 1992, Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The 5 Love Languages” which outlines general ways in which we express and experience love. Since the book’s publication, there have been over 20 million copies sold and not surprisingly, the love languages have become a sort of common knowledge in the relationship world.
The five love languages are quality time, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts and words of affirmation. Just by seeing the list, there are probably some that immediately stand out as something you know you need or that you know you strongly dislike. But if you’re not sure, let’s take a deeper look into what each of the love languages mean.
- Quality Time
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Quality time is all about giving the other person in your relationship undivided attention. Whether you are having a deep conversation, playing your favorite game together or going out for a nice meal, it’s about showing love through being present. In today’s world, it can be so easy to get distracted by our screens that putting the phones away can mean the difference between a genuine connection and a relationship full of uncertainty for some.
- Physical Touch
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Those that value physical touch, value a close presence. Simple things like hugs or holding hands in a relationship proves to them that you truly care. In a friendship relationship, physical touch can be shown through high fives, hugs or literally being a shoulder to cry on.
- Acts of Service
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Acts of service is exactly what it sounds like. These people show love through doing things for you such as doing the dishes, packing you a lunch to take to school or work, or maybe giving you a hand with your homework. The old saying that “actions speak louder than words” never went out of style for these folks.
- Receiving Gifts
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Everyone loves receiving a thoughtful gift, but for those whose main love language is receiving gifts, even the smallest of surprises can show that you love them. It could be coming home from the grocery store with an extra treat that you thought they might enjoy, buying them a keychain because it had their favorite animal on it, or giving them a bouquet of their favorite flowers to enjoy for the rest of the week. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, it just has to show that you were thinking of them.
- Words of Affirmation
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Words of affirmation is all about providing positive reminders to those that you love. Whether it is as blatant as “I love you” or more coded like “drive safe,” using words to affirm others around you that you love them can be extremely valuable. Those that value this language want to hear that you are proud of them, that you care about them and that you are there for them.
Everyone needs all 5 love languages at one point or another, but for many of us, there is one that stands out above the rest. Knowing both your and your partner’s love languages can improve your relationship for the better. Don’t forget that love languages can also be valuable in your friendships. So, even if you’re not in a relationship right now, taking the love language quiz could still provide you with valuable information.