Pumpkin spiced everything, aisles full of discount candy at Hannaford’s, and pumpkin carving related injuries. Yep, it’s that time of year again. Here are some alternative ways of spending your 31st.
Honor the History
A quick Wikipedia search tells me that Halloween (originally All Hallow’s Eve) has its roots in an old Pagan religion. It’s generally accepted to be of Christian origin, and was meant as a humorous way to confront death. So, Jack O’ Lanterns, candy corn, hayrides and scandalous costumes have naturally been America’s way of twisting the traditions of a historical event (*cough* Thanksgiving). Honor Halloween’s roots! Look death squarely in its ugly face and give it a chuckle. Go skydiving sans parachute while listening to Aziz Ansari podcasts. Literally walk into a lion’s den, twerk or something, and walk out. Well, maybe those aren’t such good ideas. You could always just read the Wikipedia page about Halloween like I did and kick some knowledge to your pals who still think Halloweentown was an accurate historical film.
Go to a Haunted House
The annual haunted house tradition in my family began when I was about 10, and let me tell you, they are as frightening now as they were then. I’m from Chicago, which for those of you from the geographical mud pie that is the Northeast is very close (about 50 miles or so) to the Wisconsin border. Near that border are some very spooky towns that run perfectly in line with the cornfield-and-barn stereotype of the Midwest. The haunted houses I’ve been to are usually in these areas, so driving down miles of barely-lit roads that seem to stretch on forever and are sandwiched between two giant cornfields may exacerbate the fear, but they are generally spooky as H***. Anyway, if pitch-dark hallways filled with chainsaw wielding masked men, clowns, and the horrifying characters from popular culture (Jason, Freddie, Saw) sound like your gig, then go to a haunted house.
Sports
The NBA season is gearing up next week, and there are some fine games to take in. My hometown Chicago Bulls take on the Cleveland Cavaliers in what should be a thriller. Then there’s the showdown at the Staples (in LA) between the Clippers and the Lakers, which will be a real barnburner. Don’t forget the marquee matchup between the two Eastern conference bottom feeders, the Bucks and 76ers. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you can always Youtube Brandeis basketball highlights to get you excited for the coming season. Or if you’re a more easygoing sports fan, go watch the World Series of Poker or something. In all honesty, it’s probably best to just watch the Bulls game. How’s this for an ideal Halloween: A pillowcase full of whatever spoils you managed to mine from the historically underwhelming Waltham trick-or-treating scene, and the Bulls vs. Cavs game. I know what I’ll be doing on Friday night.
Celebrate the Next Few Holidays a Bit Early
November 2nd is that dreaded time of year when we move our clocks an hour ahead (or is it behind? I have no idea) and lose (or gain? No clue) an hour of sleep. So instead of having a late and drunken Friday Halloween night that bleeds into Saturday, risking a classic Sunday morning clock switch slip-up, why not just hang out with your finger on the up arrow (or would it be the down arrow? I still have no idea) of your oven’s clock until Sunday? There is no panic for the prepared, they say. Here’s another holiday worth celebrating a week early: the midterm elections on Nov. 4th. That’s right, folks, it’s that exciting time of year again where we show up at the local elementary school or post office and take a multiple choice pop quiz on which inept old people should run our country. So read up on your local candidates on Halloween! With the Bulls game on mute, of course.
Photo Sources:
http://scaryacresri.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Corn-Maze-House.jpg
http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/crows-on-all-hallow…