As deep and complex as the four questions on the Brandeis Roommate Survey were, it’s still possible that you and your roommate are totally different. Maybe she orders tons of Chinese food, stinking up the room for the rest of the week. Or maybe she goes to bed earlier than you, forcing you to feel around in the dark for your shower shoes while stumbling over her trendy boot collection. Don’t panic, breathe, and it can all be worked out with just a few bits of advice from us at HC Brandeis!
First, you must give up the notion that you and your roommate will automatically become best friends. While it may happen, this expectation puts a lot of pressure on both of you. Try to focus on creating a comfortable rooming situation instead of focusing on becoming “biffles”.
Set up a roommate agreement about the room rules. Talk about sleeping, eating, cleaning, and study habits. Basically, any issues that could come up while both of you live together – nobody wants to be sexiled right before a big Biology or History exam! Remember to compromise on different ground rules including religious needs, boyfriends, visitors and pets (just don’t tell your CA about your pet fish Bob if you decide to get one).
Respect is key. For instance, if you get back to your room after your roommate has fallen asleep, let her stay asleep (living peacefully will be very tough with a sleep-deprived zombie-roommate). Keep the ceiling light off and turn on a flashlight or a desk lamp instead. Also, if you just came from a night out, don’t bring the party home with you. Leave those “best friends” you found in their own rooms, and sober up a little before staggering into your bed. Nobody wants to clean up puke from your best friend’s friend’s sister’s brother.
Even when you and your roommate are awake, you still need to consider each other’s space. You may very well have the most awesome iTunes library in all of Brandeis complete with new songs from Trey Songz and deadmau5, but that doesn’t give you the right to blast your music all afternoon. Ask your roommate about the volume level, or use headphones if she needs quiet. And if you are going to talk on the phone or on Skype, have your conversations in the dorm hallway or outside. (Use my previous article as a guide: don’t be that obnoxious roommate on the cell phone!)
Visitors might be one of the stickiest situations for you and your roommate. Introduce your roommate to your friends when they come over. And if you’re going to bring a hottie back to the room, don’t make your roommate the third wheel when you get down and dirty. If you need to “sexile” your roommate, make sure she doesn’t need the room to study or sleep while you’re busy. You could even leave a note on your door reminding her not to come in for a little while (or you could use a code like a sock or scrunchie on the door).
Part of being a good roommate is being a good outside-the-room mate. Be friendly to each other—you will be sleeping only 6-feet apart for around 8 months. Invite her to eat with you in Sherman or go to the C-Store to stock up on food for your fridge. You could even bring her out with your friends, although maybe you don’t, it’s your call.
Don’t let having a roommate get in the way of your life. If your roommate really bugs you, talk to her about it before it gets out of hand. If you two can’t work things out together, ask for advice from your CA. Don’t let it pile up until finals’ week when you’re ready to throw her Macbook on the ground.
Remember the Golden Rule, we all learned it in kindergarten. Chances are if you are a good roommate, your roommate will be good to you too.