It’s that time of the year. The end of a school year and for some the end of their time as a student. Though for me that time is not now still I feel the same well fear of the future.
I am a senior at Brenau and the question of ‘What now?’ is constantly pounding around in my mind. I have been in school so long so now the thought of my graduation next year has me wondering if I will be able to survive in a cruel world. Yeah, school isn’t all that but it’s really all most of us have known since we were five years old. Summer breaks don’t count.
That pounding question, that sense of feeling lost is maddening. Yeah, there is graduate school, but still what about after those years? The fear of the unknown is what all seniors face after they walk across that graduation stage one final time.
It brings to mind the question everyone is asked when they are young. What do you want to be when you grow up? There’s also a few more questions that are asked throughout the years. Where do you see yourself in 5/10/20 years? Why did you choose to be in this major or follow this dream?
Thinking of those questions and my answers back then compared to now, it brings a sense of sadness to my heart and it makes me miss those days of sitting behind a desk and working on papers that didn’t make me want to pull my hair out. Made me think of playing four square or Miss Mary Mack on a school playground or even falling off the monkey bars.
My nostalgia for the days of my innocent, bright-eyed youth kept me up at night and the next day I texted my mom about it and she told me word for word “You’ll be fine. It’s called growing up & being the daughter/person you were raised & destined to be”. Hearing those words from my mom had me crying but at the same time, they had me looking towards my future even though the thought of it all being over leaves me crying and wishing time didn’t fly by so fast.