Bristol University’s LGBT+ society recently celebrated Asexual Awareness Week (October 22nd to 28th) with a series of events that cumulated in a final panel with three asexual members of the society talking about their experiences. The panel itself was a fantastic introduction to someone allosexual like myself who knows basically nothing (allosexual being the opposite of asexual, and asexual meaning “a lack of sexual attraction” – aromantic means “a lack of romantic attraction”!)
When it finished, the two campaign reps (Beck and Blaze) who had put together all the week’s events thus far were nice enough to answer some questions I had.
What made you choose to put on a panel, rather than another form of event?
Blaze explained to me that it was mainly an awareness raising event (and it definitely did that!). They further went on to suggest that with so many different identities within one overarching “umbrella term” of sorts, it was best to have different examples of different people’s experiences, which the panel succeeded in showcasing.
Beck added – a panel is the perfect way to give ace students an opportunity to engage with their peers about their sexuality. I agree: given the stigmas and stereotypes around asexuality, and how negatively they are sometimes treated even within LGBT+ spaces, giving ace students a space to have their voices respected is vital.
Can you tell me a little bit about the other events you put on for Ace Awareness week?
One event they put on was an “Ace Space Coffee Meet-up”. Beck explained that it was just a nice chance to meet other ace people and have a little chat. Their topics covered everything and “all sorts”, not just ace issues – but it was nice to be able to rant about ace issues and just have folks understand.
They also explained their film showing of Moana. While Moana is quite possibly the best Disney movie ever made (no bias), it was apparently quite a struggle to decide on it. Blaze explained that they spent “a course of two weeks trying to think of a film”, asking friends and families trying to just think of one single thing.
However, while it was a nice social thing for ace folks to do, it was at the same time about making allosexual folks really think about why it’s so hard to find films.
The issue seemingly arose that there were just no films without sex or relationships – let alone with an actual asexual character! One thing the two pointed out was that there are often a lot of sex jokes that simply don’t register. Unless you’re constantly aware of it – or if you’re asexual and constantly know that you aren’t represented – it won’t seem to be an issue.
This lack of representation reflected an issue that was mentioned in the panel at large: ace people just aren’t shown well in the media. People think awkward and mentally ill characters, sociopathic serial killers, giant lizard monsters – if this is all ace people are greeted with, they aren’t exactly going to feel very comfortable when it comes time to come out.
The conversation quickly turned to advertising, and the hyper-sexualisation of cars and perfume. Beck recognised that from a media studies point of view, it made sense, but that didn’t mean it was any more appreciated. Blaze agreed wholeheartedly: “At no point is anyone gonna fuck that car,” a sentiment that I readily agree with.
What if anything would you want people to know about being asexual?
In the spirit of every awareness week, I wanted to end by finding out what the two campaigns reps had learnt over their time planning, and what they wanted to share with people as some top tips. They came up with the following:
- There’s nothing wrong with anyone who’s asexual or aromantic. They’re very broad terms to describe very broad experiences and identities.
- Asexual people can have sexual relationships, and aromantic people can be in meaningful relationships. You do you!
- Just like you shouldn’t just assume everyone is straight, you shouldn’t assume everyone is into sex, or experiences sexual attraction.
And as always, keep in mind: “Asexuals are not plants. Please stop saying that to people, you are not original.”
If you think you might be aromantic, asexual, or just want some information about it, check out the official ace awareness week website for some resources!