I stumbled upon the best a man can get in a charity shop. I’m not entirely sure what urged me to pick it up as it wasn’t particularly eye catching and whilst they say not to judge a book by its cover, I almost always do. Yet something pulled me towards it and as I had a read of the blurb, I was instantly sucked in. Here’s what it said:
Michael Adams shares a flat with three other men in their late twenties. Days are spent lying in bed, playing computer games and occasionally doing a bit of work. And then, when he feels like it, he crosses the river and goes back to his unsuspecting wife and children.
For Michael is living a double life- he escapes from the exhausting misery of babies by telling his wife he has to work through the night or travel up north. And while she is valiantly coping on her own, he is just a few miles away in a secret flat, doing all the things that most men with small children can only dream about. He thinks he can have it all, until his deception is inevitably exposed…
Almost immediately I hated this main character. Yet a part of me was not shocked at the notion O’Farrell had put forward – that a man would do such a thing to his wife. That’s why I was desperate to read this book. Was this to be the tale of a badass woman who punishes her husband once she finds out his secret? Or was this to be another story in which a man’s appalling actions get justified and excused in a resolved happy ending?
*From here on out there will be spoilers, so if the blurb intrigues you, maybe save this review for once you’ve been on this journey too*
Unfortunately, the best a man can get is just another addition to the rhetoric that men can do what they want and get away with it in the end. They may face hiccups along the way, not limited in this book to a 2-day streak of homelessness, but eventually they get a happy ending. To be honest, for something that was published in 1997, the authors choice of topic, I guess, was progressive. Michael’s actions aren’t quite justified in the book, and we’re definitely intended to hate him a little bit, but I still felt like there was an underlying notion that ‘boys will be boys’ and that that’s okay. Michael realises towards the end how much he loves his family and finally learns to grow up and show them that – of course this only happens once his secret has been revealed and he’s faced the consequences. Thus I cannot feel any empathy for his journey into adulthood, in his mid-thirties.
I don’t feel the need to delve too deep into an analytical reading of this book, as I personally just don’t think there is one. I wasn’t majorly impressed with the writing, nor was I at all appreciative of the attempts to make us feel sorry for a man who goes skinny dipping with twenty-something year old women whilst his wife sits at home none the wiser. In fact, I’ve struggled to recognise what O’Farrell’s intentions were with this one; whether it was an ode to his own true feelings as a tired dad to young children (and clearly lots of other male readers’, when you look at some of the reviews) or whether he truly is critical of a particularly male inability to grow up and mature.
Either way, his book is still finding itself relevant in our society today, even a good 26 years later. I don’t imagine anyone who reads it is that surprised with Michael’s mindset, as the capacity for dad’s to be passive and distant in their relationships with their partners and children is still ever present. I instead was surprised by the fact that Michael’s wife was willing to grant him his happy ending, despite this. It wasn’t the resolution I’d wanted, and I hope to God that if this ever happened to someone in reality, this wouldn’t be the ending that succeeded. But John O’Farrell’s ability to spark these concerns and disgust within me, I guess is an ode to his effective storytelling.
The best a man can get ultimately is an interesting and very easy read, so I would recommend that, if you want to be extremely outraged throughout, you give it a go. I reckon if it takes you one step closer to achieving your 2024 Goodreads Challenge, the insanely irritating but somewhat comedic journey that arises in this book might just be worth it.