We all know that awful expression “you can’t polish a turd.” It suggests that something is disgusting, repulsive to others and fundamentally flawed. This unpleasant phrase is what Jayne Hardy felt about herself every single day during her twenties, a time which typically defined as “the best days of your life.” Not so for Jayne. She suffered from severe depression, which was crippling. As she explains: “I didn’t have a reason to get out of bed or have a routine.” She reflects on her struggle: “I lost interest in myself and everything. I lost a lot of friends, I was really ashamed.” While her diagnosis provided a form of relief as she discovered the reasons for her low mood, she found the medication prescribed for her only made things worse.
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So far, this woman’s story is looking pretty bleak. But where does the silver lining in this tale come from? It emerges from the strength of Jayne herself; not only in her tenacity to get through each day. Somehow, she projected this strength outward to help others. In 2011, while she was still struggling to find a sense of purpose for her own existence, she started to write a blog; after writing a post about her illness she received hundreds of emails from people with similar experiences. This cemented in her mind the idea of the Blurt Foundation; an online space for people to support one another and learn how to get the help that does not always seem available elsewhere. As Jayne says, “Nobody should ever have to struggle alone.”
The Blurt Foundation is dedicated to helping anyone with depression. As the name suggests, the foundation emphasises that talking about mental health is paramount. Acknowledging mental illness is as important as discussing a physical ailment like a broken leg: both are debilitating. Peer support is a crucial aspect of Blurt, connecting those who have recovered with those who are currently in difficulty – to provide that empathetic ‘knowing nod’ to those that need help. Emphasising that “knowledge is power” the website has easy to read sections such as “Depression and Exercise” and “Depression and Sleep” which inform both sufferers and carers about the illness and provides practical tips which can improve wellbeing. Furthermore, online resources such as podcasts, experience articles and a community blog provide a cohesive support network for someone who may feel as if they are the loneliest person in the world.
(Photo credit: PBS)
So, you have a friend who you think might be suffering with depression? It’s highly likely we all do, as statistically one in four students are affected by it. It’s the little things you notice; their mood seems low, things that used to makes their eyes light up no longer interest them and they prefer to spend time alone in their room, behind closed doors. And do you bang down that door and force them to speak? No. True to our stiff upper lip British sensibilities we refrain. On the one hand, you want to keep letting them know you’re willing to help, but on the other you want to respect that they may not want to talk about it too much.
Here is where, in my opinion, Jayne and the Blurt Foundation offers not a solution to the problem, but a starting point. Something to let your friend know you are ready to give support, and also providing them with the tender loving care they can’t seem to give themselves. It’s called a BuddyBox; it’s filled with things that Blurt hope will help to inspire and comfort those who could do with a boost. You can send a one off box or get a monthly subscription; the box on your friend’s doorstop is a way of letting them know you’re there for them. The contents are a surprise and vary each month, for example, July’s BuddyBox contained a Toblerone, a Nanoblock Puzzle, herbal tea, a gel pen and a Mindfulness Journal. The overwhelming reactions from those who have received boxes show their success. Just to take one example, Jade Edge commented on the website: “I received a Blurt buddy box today. What a lovely thing it is. And thank you to the person that sent it (whoever you may be).”
(Photo credit: Blurt)
While I am not going to pretend that a cup of tea and a Toblerone will make everything in a person’s life just dandy, there is no doubt that it helps. Most importantly, it lets a person know you are thinking about them and that you are there. And for a moment, lets return to Jayne who used her troubles with depression to create not only an invaluable network of support for sufferers, but a box of care that will give someone’s cloudy day a silver lining.
(Photo credit: Pinterest)