The concept of female rage is one which we find difficult to define. While you may have noticed the recent phenomenon of âfemale rageâ posts, you will find that these are often centered around specific experiences, rather than a universal understanding of what this feeling is encompassing. My own attempts to try and understand this feeling are probably best summarised by a quote I discovered by Elana Dykewomon:
âAlmost every woman I have ever met has a secret belief that she is just on the edge of madness, that there is some deep, crazy part within her, that she must be on guard constantly against âlosing controlâ â of her temper, of her appetite, of her sexuality, of her feelings, of her ambition, of her secret fantasies, of her mind.â
These words encapsulate the reason why female rage posts have become so well received, the desire for comfort and validation that is a part of our inherent human nature is fulfilled by knowing that we are not alone in feeling this madness. Female rage can be a reaction to misogyny and injustice, but it can also be a way for women to validate their experiences without being overcome by fear of vulnerability and judgement.
A quick search on TikTok taught me that one of the most common uses of the term female rage occurs in relation to feminism itself, with one user discussing how she feels that when she is debating issues on feminism with a man that she must lock down her emotions in order to maintain any small chance she already had of being taken seriously. Throughout history, any emotion expressed by women has been labelled as hysteria, believed to be the result of the womb itself and while this is no longer the prevailing theory, many women are not strangers to being told to âcalm downâ or âlighten upâ after simply expressing a mild opinion. Perhaps the permission and ability to lose control, rather than to live a life on the edge of madness, is what is actually desired.
Current media has been criticised by some for its tendency to fetishise womenâs emotions â sadness, depression and now anger. This is exemplified by Anya Taylor-Joyâs role as Beth Harmon in Netflixâs 2020 limited series, âThe Queens Gambitâ. When Taylor-Joyâs character is going through a depressive episode, we see her elegantly sprawled across a sofa in just her underwear, smoking a cigarette. Her makeup is done, and her hair is perfectly positioned. Her life is falling apart in every way she feared most, and yet it is a specifically feminine image. Women are allowed to be sad, but only if it is sexy. This trend has become more common within womenâs experiences of frustration and anger â that is, it is socially acceptable to feel these emotions, only if you feel them in a way which appeals to the male gaze. In order for a woman to have her rage justified, it must serve some sort of greater purpose.
Many women feel a pressure to maintain an expression of impassivity when being harassed. Retaliation, in the form of shouting back or just a quick eye roll, allows the possibility of physical escalation. Fighting back is not feminine, and nor is it safe. Being catcalled is something which most women will have, unfortunately, experienced; and the âfemale rageâ trend allows them to share these experiences and the resulting emotions without a fear of judgement, humiliation, or violence.
While it is the result of undesirable circumstances, the female rage trend creates a safe space for women to seek validation and reassurance. Sharing your anger with those around you allows it to be seen as a discussion, a shared frustration, rather than as an accusation of men. Perhaps it also creates an environment where femininity and anger do not have to cancel each other out, and you do not have to be passive and kind and gentle to be a woman. You are allowed to be loud and mean and angry too.