“You live in an all BOY house?! Are you insane?!” – This is how most people react when I tell them I decided to go all boy for my third and final year of university.
But banish your ideas of a messy, dirty den filled with old gym socks smelly enough to break through the ozone layer and random plates of leftover pizza that look like they could have been from the Jurassic age. Those stereotypes are so over done, and in this case not true but that’s not saying there haven’t been some interesting moments.
The boys I live with our highly motivated, organized go-getters, even if they occasionally need to be told not to put fairy liquid in the washing machine. There are two Mechanical Engineers, one Computer Science wiz kid and one Economics and Management Masters student. Quite boy- orientated subjects, which naturally incline them to BUILD LITERALLY EVERYTHING. Example A) we have a self automated bar that will pour any drink for you when you access the app – yah I’m not joking, and no not every student house has such luxuries – having a G &T was never easier. Example B) one of them has a motor to draw his blinds for him, again through an app so he doesn’t have to do the strenuous 1 meter walk every morning.
So how did I – a self-confessed girly girl studying English Lit (talk about stereotypes, I know) come to live with them? Well I knew two of them from when we were babies and they couldn’t turn me away and I met the other two through them and no, before you ask- I am not dating any of them.
So what is it like I hear you say? Well there is an endless amount of s*** banter, and I mean that in both senses of the word…. There is no embarrassment in proclaiming at breakfast that one of them needs to go ‘lay a King Kong finger’ or ‘drop the kids off at the pool’. Initially maybe this chat shocked me but as the term wore on it got more and more hilarious. Thankfully a higher power has blessed us all in having our own en-suite – something that may have saved a few blushes even with an endless supply of Lenor spray.
Another plus is there is always a handy man present, from helping me move around my whole room several times- “because feng shui darling” – to lifting heavy objects, my weekly shop for example. They even tried to put up some shelves… yet all I’m left with is four gapping holes because apparently – “the wall is not straight”. I got given Polyfilla for my secret Santa present – har har har.
Another plus is the unheard of portion sizes that I have to eat, yes HAVE to because Mum always told me never to leave food on my plate. Two of the boys are training to do a half Iron Man in September, which means they need a crazy amount of calories to maintain body weight. My basic arithmetic is improving by timesing any normal meal for five by three. It’s not even their first endurance test though, two of them have completed the well renowned 30/30 challenge, running thirty miles with 30 pounds on your back, but they didn’t do it once, they did it three times and each time smashing the course record to come home with a trophy that sits proudly in our living room. There is something really satisfying in having any meal you make being wolfed down and enjoyed.
But as we share cooking responsibilities, someone different cooking every night, this means there have been some interesting meal times by the boys… the raw fish disaster of term 1 will not be forgotten. On the plus side their fitness regime has inspired me to get fit, which means we now go as a house to do a swim sesh at 07:30 AM a few mornings a week – a prime example of how I have been sucked in to their world.
Another example of the osmosis effect of living with boys is the degradation of my own banter levels… something that has been commented on by my close friends. RIP Emma’s respectable banter levels, *existential moment – did they ever exist?*. But being brutally honest there is something quite charming in the never-ending jokes we have against each other, ranging from drawing a likeness to fictional characters and unfortunate body parts (I’ll let you imagine). All the jokes are well meant and makes coming home a very positive and lovely thing.
The only one small inconvenience of living with boys is that there is no one to fake tan the middle of my back. We are yet to cross that friendship boundary. But it’s a small sacrifice to pay for living in one of the most chilled-out funny houses I have experienced. I wouldn’t change my living situation for anything and am very lucky to have them, not only because they let me have free reign of interior decorating and will say whatever I cooked is great, I know they have my back and I have theirs.