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Almost more than any other physical trait, hair has the power of self-expression and identity. It also has a nonsensical power over emotion and self-perception.

I don’t know about you but a bad hair day can throw off my mood for the entire day. But on the other hand, when my hair looks good I feel more confident and that confidence seeps into every aspect of my life. Taking care of your hair is about nurturing yourself. It’s about placing high value in your looks and your mindset so that you can feel good about yourself and everything you do.

I know haircare is not as easy as it’s been made out to be. Influencers’ hair is always shiny frizz-free and they sell us products with more ingredients that will damage our hair rather than revitalize it. And then, how do you even know what products and hair tips are right for you?

As someone with tight curly hair who was raised by a mom with pin-straight hair I know haircare is a journey.

My trials and tribulations have taught me to listen to my hair’s needs, not anyone on a screen. I’ve learned to embrace my curls and value their health over their tameness. Now I’ve never felt better about my hair and those bad hair days have been coming less and less frequently.

If you’ve been feeling stuck with your hair and you don’t know what you’re doing wrong, know that so many people feel the same. Here are a few tips and products that helped me:

Use Scrunchies and Claw Clips over Traditional Hair Ties

If you have any type of texture to your hair, you’ve probably ripped out some hair when taking out your hair tie. Even if you have pin-straight hair, it’s a universal experience that hair ties are overly rough with your hair. A traditional hair tie’s rubber band causes tension and friction that leads to hair damage and breakage. That’s why I switched to scrunchies and claw clips to keep my hair up. They are a much gentler option and taking them out is totally painless and damageless.

Never Tie Your Hair Up While It’s Wet

Don’t be fooled by the convenience, tying your hair up when it’s wet weakens your hair structure and increases risk of breakage. Combined with the increased tension and friction from hair ties, a wet ponytail or bun is a recipe for disaster. I try to avoid air drying all together by blow drying my hair on cool or low heat. If you need to air dry, keep your hair down or in a loose braid.

Sleep with a Satin Bonnet or Pillowcase

This is a tip that the Black community has been following forever, but it’s a habit everyone can benefit from regardless of your hair type. Sleeping with a satin bonnet and/or pillowcase protects your hair from frizz and breakage while you toss and turn at night. Plus, I find when I wear my bonnet with styled hair at night I rarely have to refresh again in the morning.

Don’t Over Shampoo

If you feel like your hair is dehydrated and you have no idea why, the answer may be in how often you have been shampooing. Although shampoo is necessary to clean your hair, if used too frequently it can strip away the essential oils and nutrients your hair needs to be healthy and hydrated. There isn’t a magic number for how many times you should be washing your hair per week. It’s different for everyone. Trust yourself and listen to your hair and scalp needs. If your hair is oily or has product build-up, it’s time to wash.

Stay Away From Heat, Always Use a Heat Protectant

I know a heat-styled look is to die for, but is it worth your hair dying over? Heat damage can destroy your hair in a plethora of ways– dryness, split ends, frizziness, breakage, hair loss– the list goes on. The only way to fully avoid heat damage is to stay away from heat-styling tools. However, a quality heat protectant can do wonders for minimizing damage. I recommend the heat protectant sprays from Chi, COLOR WOW, and It’s a 10.

Wear Protective Styles

Protective styles are essential for people with coily hair. A protective style is any way of wearing your hair so that it requires little to no manipulation such as cornrows, box braids, wigs, or twists. These styles limit damage to natural hair by retaining hair moisture, preventing breakage, and aiding hair length retention.