Signs You’re Dealing with the Ultimate F*%$ Boy

Disclaimer: We at Her Campus love the boys of Bryant! We realize that not everyone fits the description below, and the article was written in good humor. 

We’ve all watched the movies- boy sees girl, boy gets girl’s number, boy and girl go on a date, boy and girl fall in love and kiss under the sunset. As girls, we watch these romantic chick flicks hoping that this will one day be us. But the reality is- it’s never going to be. Our generation is in a crisis that none of us are addressing, and it’s honestly starting to scare some of us. We are in a hookup culture that never seems to end. The boys that we see in those Nicholas Sparks movies are not the same boys you see down at the townhouses. We are looking for love and relationships from boys that we like to call: “the ultimate f*%$boy.”

Now don’t get us wrong, not all girls are looking for love and relationships and are ready to be tied down. But whether you’re single and ready to mingle, or looking for a bae for cuffing season, we have all encountered the f*%$boy. There are the f*%$boys that everyone knows, but there are also low key f*%$boys that you would never expect. Here are some warning signs that you are encountering a f*%$boy:

  1) He has his read receipts on, but doesn’t text you back after spending a night together

2) He hooks up with you on a Saturday night and doesn’t walk you back, pretends to not see you in Salmo the next day, or just completely ignores you all together

  3) He wants to “play 20 questions ;)” (do NOT play 20 questions)

4)  When you start to seriously date, he decides that lifestyle isn’t for him and drops you like a fly, then wonders why you’re upset(?) (low-key)

5)   He asks you on a date just to get in your pants

6)     He invites you over for Netflix and chill but he doesn’t even have Netflix account

7)    When you’re going on a strong month four of talking, but doesn’t want a title (this is when you know he has a girl back home – or on campus for that matter)

8) He turns everything he says into exactly what you want to hear – but then you realize he’s doing absolutely nothing about it 

Whether your f*%$boy experience was a one night so I’ll-move-onto-the-next-one-real-quick experience, or whether you actually formed feelings for him and he left you stranded, it makes you feel pretty sh*%y. If you move on quickly- good for you! Go show him what he’s missing

But if you’re still caught up on him, all you have to do is grab some of your best girlfriends, go to Target, get a nice pint of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream, and cry while watching The Longest Ride. Or you can scream sing your feelings away with your best friends in the car to “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift (that’s our favorite). 

Either way, try your best and stay away from the “ultimate f*%$boy” because trust us, you don’t need him. 

• boys
• Bryant University
• struggles