Who knows what it’s like to go through a breakup better than the woman who was divorced 72 days after her wedding day? No one. Kim K has been through it all— she’s been the dumpee, the dumper, and the victim of the mutual split. Here are the 11 stages all girls go through after a breakup as told by yours truly, Mrs. Kardashian-West!
1. The “Ugly-Cry” Phase
Let’s be honest, the first few days after the big fallout is usually spent eating ice cream in your pajamas glued to your bed, sobbing into your BFF’s sweater.
2. The “I Could Actually Kill Him” Phase
Thinking back to your text-arguments makes your blood boil. Trust me girl, delete all of the texts for your health’s sake.
3. The “I’m Over It, I Swear” Phase
For real… why would he break up with you? Whatever, you’re way too good for him, anyway.
4. The “Hook-Up Culture” Phase
Your wing woman sets you up with a cute guy at a party and all is fine until…
5. The “Seeing Your Ex with Another Girl” Phase
Ouch. This one hurts. It’s totally fine for you to move on in a week, but he’s not allowed to move on for like, well, ever.
6. The “Trying to Make Him Jealous” Phase
Now, it’s time to even the scoreboard. You pull out all the stops, even if it means recruiting a totally platonic guy friend to pose as a new beau.
7. The “GET OUT OF MY LIFE” Phase
A little piece of you breaks off every time you see him in public and you realize you’ll always carry a torch for him no matter what.
8. The “Bigger, Better Things” Phase
Take this breakup and live your life for you! You split for a reason, never forget that.
9. The “I’m Really OK” Phase
You try to keep it together, but single life isn’t how you remembered it. You could cry at the drop of a hat, but keep it together on the outside for the sake of public appearance!
10. The “Joy in Little Things” Phase
This is when you find small day-to-day events to look forward to to keep yourself distracted and positive.
11. The Final Phase
The only “Ride or Die” that you’ll have forever is you! Fall in love with yourself, the boys will follow! Go back to being the baddest version of yourself possible and OWN IT!
As long as you know that freedom and independence are the light at the end of the tunnel, temporarily wallowing in your pain is okay. I mean, Kim had to deal with Kris Humphries (and does anyone remember how he used to bark like a dog?). But now she’s married to Yeezy with one gorgeous toddler and another baby on the way! I promise you, it gets better, collegiettes!