I don’t know how romantic comedies got such a bad rep. Yes, I know they aren’t realistic but neither are sci-fi films, and we don’t hear anyone ragging on those. Personally, I don’t go to the movies for realistic; life is real enough already. I want to watch something that is going to make me feel good and I don’t see anything wrong with that. I don’t care if they are predictable. If I wanted plot twists and all that jazz, then I’d watch a thriller, and as far as the claim that people (mostly guys) love to make about giving women unrealistic expectations I think we need to give women more credit than that. Not all of us are looking for Prince Charming to sweep us off our feet or John Cusack to show up outside our window with a boom box; in fact you will find most of us have abandoned that notion a long time ago. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t love watching it happen; love is a beautiful thing and the world needs more of it. Now, I’m not going to sit here and act like rom-coms are good teaching tools but I have happened to learn a few valuable lessons from them that I thought I would share.
1. Be friends first
Forget love at first sight. It sounds really pretty to say, but the concept is stupid. The best relationships happen when you are friends first (or even if you’re friends last), and to prove this I look no further than the mother of all rom-coms: When Harry Met Sally. Now I know that’s kind of contradictory since the main question they explore throughout the movie is whether men and women can truly be friends. However, the point I’m trying to make is that the basis of any long-lasting relationship is friendship. Think of that scene in Friends With Benefits where JT and Mila Kunis’ characters are sitting on the couch watching a movie and drinking beers; there is nothing particularly romantic or passionate about that that scene, in fact it’s pretty ordinary but it is probably the most perfect moment in the movie. When the sparks are gone, the fireworks are over and the wining and dining has dwindled, you better make sure that you are with is someone who you don’t mind spending the night doing nothing with.
2. Summer lovin’ is the best kind
I personally adore any rom-com that is set in summer; Dirty Dancing, Letters to Juliet, Mamma Mia and of course Grease, are all up there with in terms of my favorites (hence my dismay when I realized 500 Days of Summer was not about the season; still a good flick though!) There is just something about the summer heat that makes everything seem ten times more intense and wonderful. Summer is hot and exciting and daring; full of tanned skin, sticky nights and skinny dipping. It is carefree and bold; all the ingredients for perfect romance. For some reason, we are usually far more willing to let our guard down and succumb to our feelings when the weather warms up, and that’s what you need for that whirlwind love story. Summer loves aren’t necessarily supposed to be forever, in most cases they tend not to last past September (as you tend to see in most sequels). However, they are usually unforgettable and that’s the beauty of them.
3. Guys give excellent advice
While I love my girls to death, and I know they have my best interests at heart, they are not always the ideal people to go to with your relationship problems. You know the quirky, sarcastic girlfriend/sidekick in movies? The type of role Judy Greer or Krysten Ritter always plays? Well tell me how often they’ve given helpful and/or productive advice. Yeah that’s right, never. Now think about a movie like What’s Your Number or He’s Just Not That Into You. The guys in those movies were actually pretty darn good at explaining the inner workings of the male brain. While you should certainly take anything they say with a grain of salt, it has definitely been my experience that my male friends are amazing at helping me through my relationship problems. Don’t get me wrong, women are great at advice as well and you will always take their opinion into consideration, don’t sleep on your guy friends. While their brand of advice may come with stupid analogies (usually involving the food) try not to dismiss them, they usually know what they’re talking about.
4. No one is out of your league
The whole idea that someone is out of your league is a self-esteem issue. Unless your crush is of the celebrity variety, ignore those ideas you have that you’re not good enough. While I will admit that most rom-coms involve two generally incredible looking people, overlooking that, we find that “leagues” simply don’t exist in rom-coms. Richard Gere fell in love with a prostitute in Pretty Woman, Sandra Bullock fell for her lowly assistant in The Proposal (what is perhaps even more incredible is that he fell in love with her because she was a hot mess), and of course there’s Pretty in Pink. I’m not trying to make out like these situations are the norm, but the point is maybe they would happen far more often if we all weren’t so caught up with thinking that we don’t stand a chance. It’s okay to have standards but if you dismiss someone simply because you think you are too good for them, it says far more about you than it does them. Just give people a chance because you never know what might happen and conversely, give yourself a chance; confidence is always sexy.
5. Just go with it
You know that part in a rom-com where your analytical skills kick in and you start to think “this is ridiculous”? Then you begin over-thinking and rationalizing things and before you know it you’re stuck inside your head and the magic is gone. We do this in our lives every day. When something seems too good to be true or we’re presented with an opportunity that is both potentially risky and amazing at the same time, we start to think about it way too hard, and as a result, often let great opportunities pass us by. Rom-coms don’t always make sense, and neither does life. The sooner we realize it, the more we’ll become comfortable letting good things happen to us. So the next time you’re faced with an absurd movie plot or crazy (good-crazy!) real-life situation, just go with it because that’s how all the best stories happen.