Girls just wanna have fun! We’ve all heard that classic Cyndi Lauper lyric but what about the fun we don’t talk about? Sex. Masturbation. All women do it—and have been for centuries—but the methods used to be a little more creative than reaching for the removable shower head. In honor of the women who came before us but never got to see today’s modern selection of devices, let’s look at some of their go-to’s.
First up, we have our Queen Cleopatra! Even though she was known for her regality, she knew how to get pampered in the sheets. According to the BBC, it has long been speculated that she made an all-natural vibrator by filling a gourd with hundreds of live bees—ouch. Guess she wasn’t scared of a little buzz!Â
Next, according to Antiquitatem.com, the Ancient Greeks, in the Ionian City of Miletus, were perfecting the world’s earliest dildo, or as they called it, the olisbos. This sex tool was often made out of stone, leather, or my personal favorite, bread. Talk about a yeast infection!
Moving away from the European continent and further into the future, in around 500 A.D., Japan was busy inventing Ben Wa balls, as reported by an article in “A Little Bit Human”. If you’re scratching your head trying to figure out what that could be, it’s basically just marbles that would roll around up there once inserted. Sounds like a bit of a bumpy ride.Â
As you would expect, medieval times didn’t have a ton of sexual exploration going on, what with all the rigid social attitudes, devotion to religion, and chastity. Still, I’m sure even then, our girls were making do in one way or another.Â
Fast forwarding to the industrial era, machines gave some necessary power to pleasure, although they were actually marketed as medical instruments to treat female hysteria at the time, according to thetoy.org. To keep it brief, our industry girls got what was basically a penis-pumping machine with a detachable dildo. Simple and efficient. But hey, whatever gets the job done!
That brings us to our first real vibrator. Saucy and scandalous like the Victorians who made it, an Op-Ed piece in The New York Times says that it was originally designed to massage the body for blood circulation and marketed towards men. But honestly, anything that vibrates can’t really be expected to be kept from the ladies or stop them from using it for other purposes.Â
That brings us to the modern-day Magic Wand. It was first popularized by Betty Dodson in her demonstrative classes on masturbation which, as she tells Harper’s Bazaar, were about viewing masturbation as the “key to female liberation.” Dubbed a classic by Sex and the City, the Magic Wand is still one of the most powerful sex toys on the market. It’s solidified its legacy as the toy that just keeps coming back.
For real though, make sure whatever you use is safe to insert, and you clean it after every use. Other than that, keep doing whatever makes you happy ladies, and remember that no one should make you feel guilty about your pleasure.Â
Get buzzing girls!Â
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