Growing up, I was used to beaches being just five minutes away from home, exploring rainforests, playing with my neighbors until late at night, and enjoying festivals like Las Fiestas de la Calle San Sebastián. More importantly, everywhere I went, I was bound to find friends, family, or even friends of friends that became my friends. It wasn’t until I came to Boston that I realized how much I had taken the experiences I had growing up for granted.
Throughout my life, I was determined to leave the island for college. I had this idea in my head that anywhere outside of Puerto Rico was better. I would have more opportunities, be able to go anywhere I wanted, have the independence I had always dreamed of, and be able to do something different.Â
I was under the impression that by staying, I would be holding myself back and wouldn’t be able to do anything with my life except stay within what I considered a small and unprogressive island. This is why when I had the opportunity to come to Boston University, I was ecstatic—finally, I had gotten my ticket out of here.
However, things changed when I realized I had to take a gap semester as part of the program I was admitted to. I remember being so disappointed that I couldn’t leave sooner but eventually came to terms with it. Nevertheless, now that I look back on it, that gap was probably the best thing that could have happened to me.Â
While I spent most of my time working, I was mainly focused on leaving and getting ready for college and not thinking about how I was about to move away from home to a completely different environment. However, around the last few weeks before I had to leave, I started spending more time with family, friends, and around the island overall. I’d reminisce on fond childhood memories and experiences that I realized I probably would not experience again, or at least not for a long while.
I had always struggled to be proud of my culture since I was used to hearing two viewpoints my whole life. I would become so confused as I would listen to the complaints about the poor state of the island, the lack of opportunities, and the misguided opinions of the people living here and how we should become a part of the US.
Other times, I would hear about the pride I should have for my culture, excuses for the poor state of things, and how that’s “just the way things are.” I felt I’d always be doing something wrong, whichever opinion I sided with. I felt trapped in the sense that I wanted to be proud, but there were so many economic and political problems that I couldn’t solve. Â
Since all my friends were in college, I had a lot of time to myself during the gap semester, and nearing the end of it, I had developed this habit of going on drives just because. I think it was during this time when I could just shut off my brain, that I was able to come to terms and do away with my confusion. Whether it was simply driving by the beach, talking with people in my town about their lives, or even just watching how much our community and culture were tied together, I noticed just how amazing it truly was.
So, by the time I moved to Boston, it all hit me at once. Boston is very different, and with it feeling so large and busy, it was a very unfamiliar environment where I found it hard to find anyone I could relate to. It was lonely at times, especially in the winter, and that’s when I realized just how much I missed my island. I missed the warmth, the people, the music, the food, and the feeling that everywhere I went I knew I’d see a familiar face.Â
It hit me all at once, just how much I had taken for granted the things I wanted to leave behind just a few months before. What once was part of my daily life, now seemed so foreign and I wanted it all back.Â
As the months passed, I found people who shared similar experiences and backgrounds as me, and with them, I was able to give Boston a chance. Although different, it felt like a place that could become another home for me in time. After spending the summer back home, I spent it with the people I cared for the most and finally felt truly at home within my culture and island.Â
I’ve now learned to never take everything for granted.
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