To The Boys Who Live Above Me

Dear Boys Upstairs, 

First, I want to offer you my sincerest congratulations. Truly, I am impressed at your consistency and timing. Most neighbors have no pattern to their noise, it’s all random. But you- you stay nice and quiet until approximately 1AM weeknights. Incredible!

I don’t know what you do all day, but I’m honestly in awe at your dedication to jump around and stomp on the floor after a long day. I would have thought there was no way two college boys could be so loud but whatever it is you do to get that THUMP it’s really working for you. 

If the crashes on the floor are from, how do I put this, getting a little too rough in the bedroom, then know I don’t judge you. At least not for that, but the lack of vocals accompanying the occasional thumps and crashes leads me to thinking it’s not from sex but from literal jumping on the floor. 

Now I too get overly excited about things, and at times I want to jump around in my excitement, but I contain myself because I’m an adult woman who knows she has downstairs neighbors. I encourage you to practice that same restraint.  

You might be reading this and think “Sophie if it’s so bad why don’t you just tell them to shut up?” Oh, but we did.

A few nights ago, on one of your exceptionally loud endeavors, my roommate and I took the journey upstairs  to tell you to kindly shut the hell up. What did we find you doing? Skate tricks. The fact that it was 2am on a Tuesday or Wednesday didn’t stop you from taking the skate park inside. Somehow you interpreted her request to not skateboard in the middle of the night right above our room to be a one-time request as opposed to an every day thing. Our mistake for not being as clear as possible.   

We have less than a month left of school and the weather is getting nicer, so I encourage you to take your skateboard outside for some fresh air. Or at least keep the skating in your dorm to a minimum.  

Much love, 

The girls downstairs