Laughter and excited chatter swirled around me as I sat paralyzed in my seat. It was the final game for the Beanpot, Boston’s biggest collegiate ice hockey tournament, but all I could do was keep my eyes locked on my phone screen.Â
“Homeless suspect accused of following Christina Yuna Lee and stabbing her inside her NYC apartment…”
“No way, this can’t be happening,” I thought to myself, “It’s not on the streets, but in her own apartment? Her own apartment?!”
A wave of numbness crashed into me. I’ve seen numerous Asian American women who look like me pushed off subway tracks and yelled at with torrents of racial slurs. But it still shook me to the core. The fact that she was attacked in her apartment, a personal safe space, broke me. The fact that my family lives in New York City didn’t help either.Â
Where can I feel safe now? What am I supposed to do?!Â
“Alright band! Get ready to play in three minutes,” the pep band assistant shouted, cutting through my dazed thoughts. I shuffled into playing position as the band got ready to welcome the Boston University men’s ice hockey team back onto the ice.
I mindlessly played tune after tune, trying to drown out the panic snaking around me with the music and cheering. When we finally scored to secure the title, I plastered on a smile and tried not to think about whether or not I needed to get pepper spray after all of this. As the band cheered and sang at the top of their lungs the whole way to the bus, I could only do it half-heartedly. I thought with dread about my walk home to my place in the darkness, just like Christina.Â
Attacks like Christina’s are unfortunately not new. Recent attacks, exacerbated by the notion that Asian Americans carried the coronavirus into the United States, are part of a long standing history of anti-Asian hate crimes here. Dating all the way back to the 1800s when Chinese immigrants first came to the U.S. looking for work, Asian Americans have gone through numerous racial attacks, from street harassment to mass lynchings.Â
And it doesn’t stop there. In 2021, there was a 339 percent increase in anti-Asian hate crimes from 2020, according to a recent study. New York City in particular saw a huge jump from 30 to 133 anti-Asian hate crimes over the course of the year— a jaw dropping 343 percent increase.Â
What hurts me is not only the growing number of cases in the city I’ve called home for 21 years— it’s the idea that my family, my Asian American friends, or I could be next. There’s not a single day where I don’t constantly look behind my shoulder walking back to my dorm, fears of getting stalked digging into my skin. I have been so drained by trying to balance looming deadlines and graduation plans with the idea that I could be snatched off the streets and pummeled in the face in my own home. It’s hard to look ahead without thinking about these traumatic events. Â
Local governments have been taking steps that can help prevent these attacks, such as New York City launching a platform barrier pilot program in some subway stations to protect passengers from getting pushed into the tracks like Michelle Go. Recently, President Biden signed the COVID-19 Hate Crimes Act , which uses public outreach and other resources to make reporting hate crimes more accessible.Â
But more needs to be done. Policies and government programs are just a few ways to get the Asian American community the help its members need. Education is a small but crucial step, as understanding the community and its needs means understanding its roots and values.Â
It doesn’t mean you have to check out thick textbooks from the library. There are numerous resources out there, from TikTokers digging into Asian American history to short articles reporting on Asian American incidents. Supporting the community by buying from local, Asian American owned businesses and attending Asian American community events also helps the community thrive. These small steps can help the community in the long run as we heal and recover from the trauma.Â
The Asian American community is more than a set of punching bags waiting to be hammered with bloodshed and slurs.
It’s frustrating for me to see how long it’s taking for people to realize this, but in the meantime, activism for the community in any shape or form is what we need at this moment.Â
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