*Spoilers ahead!Â
I’ve been an avid and loyal fan of Jane the Virgin since 2016 when the show was in its second season. Season five is only four episodes in and its proven to be one hell of a ride, so let me take you on a different ride: trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Also, if you couldn’t tell, this post will have major spoilers for season 5, and of course, everything before that.
Michael isn’t dead!!
So, biggest thing—Michael isn’t dead? And his new name is Jason? But, as of episode three, he got his memories back??????????? My roommate and I were watching episode three together and we screeched like idiots when Michael(/Jason?) brushed the roof of the Villanueva house with the fishing pole and made it snow again. How did we think the writers of Jane the Virgin were going to let us off the hook that easily? For a minute there, I thought Jason (/Michael?) was going to leave, and that Jane and Rafael would have a nice, happy life together. But alas, everything happens to Jane and this is just another step in her absolutely insane life. Seriously, Jane should just pull a Jason and start over in Montana. Or better yet, Siberia.
Also, if the writers kill off Xiomara, I will lose it. My roommate agrees, saying she would probably stop watching the show if that happens. It doesn’t seem like they’re going to because that seems too obvious, but you know, they killed Michael after everyone thought he was safe so I wouldn’t put it past them. Her fainting at Mateo’s school injected me with a real fear I didn’t know a TV show could do.
As for the rest of the season, there’s basically no good ending. If Jane ultimately chooses Rafael, a part of her will always be wondering about the life she could’ve ended up having with Michael, her supposed soulmate. If she does choose Michael, she’ll have broken Rafael’s heart for the millionth time and will have to give up the possibility of Mateo living with married parents. The last thing we saw in the episode was Rafael telling Jane to leave their house because having to stand by while she decides whether or not to divorce Michael is killing him. My prediction for the next few episodes is that Rafael will go back to his “dark place,” while pushing Jane away, which will only drive her closer to Michael. This is an impossible situation and unless the writers seriously consider polygamy between Michael, Jane, and Rafael, there’s no good option. I guess I’ll have to keep watching to see what crazy shit the writers are going to pull next.
 Jane and Rafael’s lives being completely upended with the reappearance of Michael from episode 1.
Here are some of the notes I took on my phone while watching the latest episode. I probably could’ve made my extensive notes my whole article, but I wanted to have a bit more structure than that.
-Honestly, props to the writers for not making two men fighting over you that great
-what is HAPPENING
-I wasn’t sure if the writers were going to go there, but man did they go there [Michael getting off the bus to Montana]
-why is Magda still here
-oof “Michael is your past, Rafael is your future” Petra is making points
-I love drunk Jane and Petra
-she DID NOT mail the divorce papers
-I hate this show
-I CANNOT handle this
-men are trash and that is why Jorge said his sister helped him write the fake love letters Alba thought were legit
-we love getting our hopes up and having them crushed
-How is Xiomara on her feet
-something bad is gonna happen
-there it is
-no one is that perfect @Rafael bringing Jane’s family coffee and shit to the hospital
-aww Jane and JR are very good for each other
-I knew he [Michael] was reading Jane’s book
-STOP MAKING JANE CONFLICTED let the girl breathe
-“do you still love him” “I don’t know” F**K
As of right now, only 4 episodes are out, but since my articles are posted on Thursdays, the fifth episode will be out, so just remember episode 5 hasn’t happened yet. Also, if anyone could tell me what the hell this show is and why I keep watching it, that would be much appreciated.
Want to keep up with HCBU? Make sure to like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, check out our Pinterest board, and read our latest Tweets!