I couldn’t wait to leave for college. From the moment I got my acceptance letter from Boston University the only thing on my mind was college and Boston and the new city I would learn to call home for at least the next four years, if not more.
Leading up to move-in day I didn’t cry or get very sad; I was too excited about decorating my room and making new friends and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. I had a one-track mind and once I got to Boston I threw myself into city life fully. I went out with my friends most weekends, explored the shopping and coffee shops scattered around, and didn’t think much of going home for a visit. I dreaded winter break because it meant being bored at home and I counted the days until my trip to Florida with my friends and until I could go to another hockey game.
Freshman year featured maybe three voluntary visits home despite it being one of the toughest years of my life; I simply didn’t want to risk missing out on anything and didn’t miss anything at home enough to make the effort. Summer vacation seemed to drag on and when August rolled around I was excited to pack and get back to school so I could meet my roommate, start on my new major, and see my best friends. That was until I actually got back…
Don’t get me wrong, I love BU and Boston and my life and friends here, but you never realize how much you miss home or how much you value the comfort it provides until that’s the only thing that can make you feel better. For me, sophomore year meant the newness of college had worn off—parties were still fun but it was the same people and same places every weekend, the dining hall food was the same as it had been 6 months ago, and my classes caused me just as much stress as they had before. My newfound freedom and sense wild independence had worn off since my first year had come and gone.
I attribute a lot of this to things I’ve come to understand now that I’m an adult about how much time we have with the people with love. It makes me just want to be home with my parents and my grandparents and spend all the time I can with the people who matter most. I can’t pinpoint exactly why, but since roughly three weeks into the school year, I’ve been homesick in a way I’ve never felt.
I’ve been on extended trips before and been very ready to go home by the end, and my freshman year I missed my parents and made sure to call them every day or two, but this year has been different. I’ve made it a point to FaceTime my mom every day to talk to her and my dad and my cats. I’ve been very good about going home every 6 weeks or so and the fact that I won’t be able to go home between winter break and spring break is something that still bothers me because I long for the comfort home brings me.
When I’m laying in my bed at home under my blankets with my cat at the end of my bed it’s like the problems and responsibilities I have back here in Boston are so far away. It may sound childish since part of being an adult is dealing with problems, but I just want to hang on to being a kid for a little bit longer.
Being a sophomore in college and having to declare a major and decide what I want to do for the rest of my life, the pressure to find an internship, and entering my twenties rather than my teens has made me realize that I’m going to have to become a real person and be an adult sooner rather than later and that thought terrifies me. Home allows me to still be a kid where my mom wakes me up in the morning and I can watch TV all day without worrying about homework.
I’m homesick for my mom’s comfort and our movie nights, for hockey games and breakfast dates with my dad, for cuddles with my cats, and extended family dinner every Saturday night. I’m homesick for being a kid and for the comfort and security being at home gives me.
So, to my hometown of Agawam and to my family who acts as my security blanket, I miss you dearly and I cannot wait to come home and see you.
Love,
Arianna
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