I’ve been reading for a very long time, mostly young adult love stories. Every once in awhile, I’ll come across an incredibly interesting book that requires my vulnerability or inquisitive mind and I get hooked on it. I had intended to write a review of Dr. Van Der Kolk’s book The Body Keeps the Score. It’s currently ranked number three on the New York Times’ Bestsellers for Nonfiction. It’s a multipart story about how trauma affects the body and mind, and what treatments exist for recovery.
And I was right, this book is interesting; it starts off discussing the beginnings of the PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) diagnosis and how a multitude of seemingly dissimilar research led Dr. Van Der Kolk to his understandings of PTSD and the impact of trauma on functioning.
But I’ve only made it to chapter four in about a month’s time. I’m very open about my traumas and I’m semi-aware of how they have and continue to impact my life. Just a few nights ago, I was sobbing about how my biggest loss has shaped who I connect with, and has forced me to sever ties with individuals who don’t fit into my life. With all of the cognition I have, I have had to put this book down many times.
Especially with novels that are personal, it can be easy to be triggered without realizing what is reopening previous wounds. I know a few people who felt this way when they read Rupi Kaur’s milk and honey or Chanel Miller’s Know My Name. Words have a way of connecting people –– of seeing someone’s pain or past when they were wronged and validating that their pain is okay. This validation and recognition can be overwhelming and honestly, some people are not ready to be healed.
With that being said, please be mindful of your emotions when reading powerful books. Everyone’s story is meant to be shared but that doesn’t mean that you have to suffer throughout the process. It took me a long time to learn that it’s okay to cry or be angry and fully feel your emotions, especially when digesting media.
Most importantly, please know that you can put the books down and give yourself the gift of space.
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