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The Importance Of Girlhood: A Guide To Friendship

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BU chapter.

I locked myself out of my dorm wearing bright pink slippers. In these moments, I’m reminded of how crucial it is to have girl friendships.

Instead of waiting defeatedly for my roommate, I now sit writing this in the dorm of a girl I met only earlier today, lying on her bed, and using her laptop to relieve my stress.

Although people generally value friends, I believe that they don’t often appreciate what friendships can get us through. I question why people are friends with each other if they don’t provide mutual support in hard times.

Human connection is not a simple concept, despite it being made out to be. But once found, human connections can alter how you carry yourself and perceive the world.

I want to highlight the moments in which friendships can make us feel seen, especially as women, and encourage kindness and interest in one another.

Especially in college environments, girls should prioritize genuine conversations over convenient ones. You should ask yourself if you’re being real with the people you’re talking to. By “real,” I mean expressing yourself in a way that is uninfluenced by outside opinions. A lack of transparency can cause friendships, relationships, and even marriages to fall apart.

Friendships shouldn’t be burdensome or forced. In my experience, they have the potential to rejuvenate you if they’re pursued with true care. Understanding those around us can heal the parts of us that long for reliability and intimacy. Women undergo similar experiences socially and should feel unified as a result.

I wouldn’t feel this motivated to succeed if not for my female friendships. They remind me to cherish my memories, the present moment, and my ideas for the future. In an environment overflowing with positivity, it’s difficult to feel any distress.

Of course, these friendships don’t come easy to everyone. Some people live on despite their loneliness, unaware of the possibility of bettering bonds. So here are some questions you should ask yourself if you’re searching for a soul connection, according to my personal “girl code.”

Do They Make Mundane Activities Enjoyable?

When you’re really comfortable with someone, you may take them with you to run errands, or simply sit idle. Their presence is comforting and you know you don’t have to perform undesirable tasks alone because they’ll be there for support.

Do You Take Everything They Say As The Truth?

Immediately believing someone means they have previously proven to you that they’re honest, which is a necessary quality in a real friend.

How Does the thought of them make you feel?

Thinking of one of your friends should evoke positive thoughts, such as memories of tender or funny moments. They shouldn’t cause you stress or make you doubt the sentiments between you.

How does their philosophy impact you?

Everyone has a personal philosophy that dictates how they live their life. It’s important to become friends with people whose way of life encourages you to be the best version of yourself. For example, pessimistic people are capable of weighing others down and dragging them into their cycle of contempt.

Do they respect the people around you?

Politeness comes with maturity, so it’s important to be around people who are polite toward your relatives, friends, and lovers. These people are a part of you, so being impolite is simply disrespectful.

Do You Hang out consistently?

Although the answer to this question can depend on circumstance, it’s still important to ask yourself. If someone is free to hang out with others, there should be a mutual effort put into spending time together.

Do you want to make them happy?

Friendship goes both ways. If you don’t feel a connection, it will show. Boredom, resentment, and indifference are all emotions that reflect the state of your bond. Just as they should aim to make you happy, you should too.

Do they make you feel stronger?

Strength is the product of support. Friends should make you feel appreciated, prioritized, and cared for. They should be proud of your accomplishments, not jealous or bitter. They should celebrate good news and console you when there’s bad news. They should motivate you, not create more stress.

Girls can feel a kinship in moments that may seem trivial. Looking out for one another and offering encouragement may be unimportant to some, but it can strengthen others.

Depending on your perspective, there are so many people to meet. Keep your head up!

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Chelsea Romero is a writer for Her Campus and is passionate about topics related to relationships and spiritual significance. She is an aspiring author and psychologist aiming to reach the hearts of others through her opinionated but genuine words, incorporating her observations of the world into her messages. She is a Philosophy & Psychology major, with a minor in Computer Science, as a freshman at Boston University. Her major is heavily influenced by her personal experience with writing, being that it is her favorite form of self-expression and communication. She considers asserting identity to be a crucial part of growing up, which can be facilitated by simply sitting with your thoughts and putting them on paper. Other than for Her Campus, she writes for BU's Daily Free Press as a Lifestyle columnist and partakes in individual creative pursuits. Her interests in general revolve around literature, music, fashion, nature, and video games. She also enjoys spontaneous, unserious artistic exploration, such as personal jewelry-making, to exercise potential of the brain.