Every adult I have ever talked to claims, “College is the best time of your life.” While this might’ve been true for them, it also put a ton of pressure on me to make sure that I immediately had that experience. This unrealistic way of thinking had me doubting myself as I went through my freshman year, but ultimately it allowed me to come up with these three tips for future students to keep in mind.
- You Don’t need huge friend groups
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Going into college, I was set on finding a big group of friends to do everything with. Even though this seemed like a good idea at the time, I found it much trickier to make a reality than what social media would have you believe. The people you see with these huge friend groups one week might not even talk to those people by the end of the semester—and is that really the kind of friendship we want?
It was a difficult lesson to learn, but I’ve realized it’s much better to have a couple of friends who you can rely on to be by your side than to have a full friend group of people who only know you at face value.
In times of need, you’ll see how you seek out these few close friends instead of that idyllic large group.
- Remember where you came from
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With all the new and exciting aspects of your life ahead of you, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s most important: your home and well-being. Distraction can be a good thing, but sometimes you need to take the time to reflect on where you came from.
Keep in touch with your friends and family from home. I guarantee they miss you more than they might let it show and want to hear from you. There’s absolutely no rule that demands you let go of your relationships for the sake of making new ones!
Outside of keeping in contact with your loved ones from home, it’s also important to stay in touch with yourself, your hobbies, and your interests. While balancing the chaos of change, staying grounded in the things that make you happy is key. Personally, reading was a hobby of mine before I left for college so these days I read to feel reconnected to my identity in this period of such rapid change.
- Be Kind to Yourself
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During hard times, beating ourselves up over things we can’t control is often the easiest option—and this is more common than you might think. There’s a good chance that most people around you are struggling with the same issues you’re dealing with and not talking about it. So remember, you’re not alone!
Just because something goes unspoken does not mean it isn’t there. I’ve had many conversations with friends about how complicated it can be to find meaningful friendships in college that never would’ve happened had one of us not brought it up first.
I found that it helps to tell yourself positive affirmations and to show yourself the care and patience you would have for your best friend.
Chin up guys, you got this!
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