I didn’t always hate birthdays. With my birthday being around, or sometimes even on Thanksgiving, it has always been celebrated with family, friends, and food. With my three favorite things by my side, what wasn’t to love?
One week ago I turned the big 2-0. It was a not-so-happy birthday to say the least. If you had asked me over a couple months ago if I was excited to turn 20 the answer would have probably be an enthusiastic yes! But all of sudden my 20th birthday was only a couple of days away and this overwhelming panic took over without any warning.
You are probably wondering what’s the big deal? So you aren’t a teenager anymore (that’s awesome) and you aren’t quite an adult yet; this is true, but I am in my infamous 20s now. Have you ever stopped to think about how much is supposed to happen in your 20s?! In the next 10 years I am going to graduate college (maybe attend graduate school, another panic-inducing who-knows), hopefully find a job or two or three, and possibly get married! I’m sorry, WHAT?! Do you understand why I am so terrified now?
The main reason I wasn’t the biggest fan of my birthday this year is because it feels like life is slapping me smack dab in the face; there is no better way to put it. My 20th birthday was a blaring alarm yelling at me to wake up, alerting me of the crazy roller-coaster ride that the next 10 plus years is sure to bring, and then there’s me repeatedly hitting snooze wishing it would all just vanish. I am afraid that I haven’t learned all the lessons or taken advantage of all the opportunities that I should have up to this point in time. Mostly, I feel as if I am not even close to being prepared for this future unknown called real-life and no amount of “how to survive your 20s” articles could do the trick.
Right now I may think that I am running into this all blind, but even within the past week I have managed to learn a thing or two. I am coming to realize that my 20s will certainly be filled with ups and downs, but I wont be alone-my friends have experienced similar waves of panic. Also, despite these overwhelming feelings of missed lessons and opportunities, the next 10 years are going to bring many more lessons to be learned and opportunities to be taken advantage of. So even though I’m not the happiest with life trying to wake me up from this dream-land we collegiates consider college, I am ready to quit hitting snooze and embrace the ups and downs of reality marked with turning the big 2-0.