Sexism comes at women in a million different ways. It’s ingrained into nearly everything that happens to us and around us from birth. In recent years, we’ve seen an increase in sex-positivity messages to the younger generations.
“Virginity” as a concept still exists. But why? What constitutes as “losing your virginity?” By defining it only as having penetrative sex, you erase the experiences had by LGBTQ+ friends. Basically, ViRgiNiTY is a sexist concept that makes both men and women feel bad — women for losing it, and men for having it.
In women, virginity is tied to self-worth, and women are often shamed for having sex before marriage — a ridiculous thought in my opinion. How can you marry someone without knowing what the sex is like? While sex isn’t everything in a marriage, it is definitely important. More importantly, virginity is heavily involved in slut-shaming. How often a woman chooses to have sex and who she chooses to have sex with is no one’s business. So why are we so concerned with how others view our so-called purity?
I’ve always been extremely open about sex — I was 14 when I first started having sex, much younger than my peers, but I wasn’t shamed. I never had the “Talk” because it wasn’t a taboo topic in my home. I was the friend that everyone went to for sex and relationship advice because I wasn’t uncomfortable about sex and didn’t make others uncomfortable.
I had two close friends in high school who heavily believed in “virginity” and when one of them started having sex, she told me that she thought it was going to be a bigger deal than it was and it would make her feel different. Contrary to popular beliefs, she felt the same. Not that she lost something, but that she gained a new addition to her personality.
This illustrates the idea that virginity is completely social and has no biological basis. If it did, we’d all shoot rainbows confetti out of our vaginas/penises the first time – which doesn’t happen the last time I checked.
It’s 2018: It’s about time we put this sexist, homophobic, slut-shaming phrase to bed. Everyone should be comfortable to go out and be as sexual as they feel like being, without their self-worth being thrown into question because they don’t fit someone else’s ideals.
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