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What to Do When He’s Using You to Get Your BFF

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BU chapter.

You know when your friend who’s clearly a 10 tries to convince you that you’re not the D.U.F.F. (Designated Ugly Fat Friend)? But then every guy hits on her instead of you? Same. But, the absolute worst is when a guy hits on you just to get to her. You know, he warms up to you to build up some street-cred so that when your friend asks who the cute guy is that you’ll talk him up, and maybe even eventually set the two of them up. Here’s what to do in this situation! 

You can tell that he’s not really hitting on you if he has no game. If a guy is truly interested in you, he will genuinely care about how he presents himself. If he’s into your BFF, he’s not going to put any real effort into you. It might even be a little bit of an awkward encounter at first, so just try not to be too outgoing with him and feel out the situation. 

Be careful that you don’t fall for this guy too soon. If even for a second it feels like he’s not 100% into only you, do not put yourself in a love-triangle situation. It’s never a good outcome. You’ll end up begging him to love you when his mind is clearly elsewhere. Also, you could end up resenting the friend that he’s interested in, even though it’s not her fault.  

Cut down any conversation about your friend. Don’t let him sit and talk about how great she is— you already know that, that’s why you’re best friends, duh! Let him know that if he wants to talk to you then he can, but he cannot pine over her to your face. If at first you feel enraged at him when you he finally pops the question (the question being, “So, do you think you could see if she would be interested in going out with me sometime?”), take a step back and realize you don’t need him. After all, he’s a guy who can’t get a girl on his own. And finally, let him know that he has no shot. Any guy that thinks he can use one BFF to get the other one to date him is clearly clueless. Us girls can’t stray from the girl code, so be sure to let him know that any attempt will result in him crashing and burning and you and your BFF laughing at him for many, many years to come. If you’re ever feeling like the D.U.F.F of your group or you notice that guys are using you to get to your friends, don’t worry. Don’t sit in your room hating yourself or feeling like you got played. We’ve all been there and we’ve all felt that way. It’s the guy that should feel dumb, never you! And have some faith in your BFF that she won’t give in if you like him!  

 

Jamie is a freshman in the Boston University College of Communication with the intention of obtaining a degree in Journalism. Her main interests include beauty and lifestyle content, as she seeks to use her extensive knowledge in the beauty industry to help out other girls and spread self-confidence. She hopes to have a career in the magazine industry as a writer. If you can't find Jamie taking a nice, long stroll down Newbury with a Starbucks vanilla iced latte in hand, you'll be sure to find her sitting on BU Beach binge-watching Netflix. Follow Jamie on Instagram: @jamshore
Summer is a Boston University graduate ('15) that received a BS in Journalism with a concentration in magazine journalism. Her interests include editorial design and lifestyle, fashion, and beauty content, as she aspires to be a fashion magazine writer and editor. She is currently a fashion and beauty writer for Bustle.com and previously served as a Campus Correspondent for Her Campus Boston University. Summer likes to think of herself as a lipstick enthusiast and smoothie connoisseur, so when she isn't writing for Bustle, you could probably find her sipping on a strawberry-banana smoothie and planning her next purchases at Sephora. Follow Summer on Twitter @SummerArlexis