I had a few friends in high school but was never in a set friendship group. In fact, I sort of created my own. My school was tiny, so the options were limited, but I ended up being more than satisfied with my options. I had lots of friends, but the issue was that they were all in their own friend groups, and none of them were friends with each other.
I used to try hard to group all my friends together and have us all hang out and have dinner or watch a movie so that they could all bond. It never ended up working, and I could never figure out why. It turns out all of my friends were very different types of people, and they didn’t really have much in common.
So instead of having big group get-togethers, I was able to hang out with them one on one, which I ended up preferring. There is no issue of being in a setting with people you aren’t close with or uncomfortable being yourself around. Instead, you get to be with the person you love and trust and express yourself freely without fear of judgment. I liked having my individual hangouts way more because I could be myself from start to finish.
For some reason, I thought that once I got to college, I would have the perfect friend group. I was wrong. The first week in, I made a group of friends that I really loved. We would go out together a lot and constantly be texting each other. We did have a group chat, but I began to text two people in the group individually because I connected with them more.
Now, that friend group has fallen apart since the first week of friends you make in college never really stay solid. But I still hang out with those two individual people, either separately or together. I also met this girl very early on, who is one of my favorite people here. But she is way more extroverted than me and has also grown up with good, solid friend groups. Because of this, she already has one set and was excited for me to join it.
I thought that maybe this time, my opinion on friend groups would change because it’s college and a whole new set of people. So I spent a lot of time hanging out with her friends and a few I connected with. But there also were a few that made me feel uncomfortable being myself. So much so that I had to leave the dorm because they were laughing at me. In moments like this, I know I have no power. This friend group was set long before me, so my negative opinions towards one of the members will only create tension and not make me feel more comfortable. So once again, I decided to hang out with the individual people from the group instead of the whole group.
There’s no reason to pressure yourself to find the perfect group. All you need to do is find the right people or person and spend time with who you want instead of wasting your energy on toxic people.
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