In 2019 I turned 20, I painted my room, I partook in a service trip, I lost a few friends, I gained a few others, I finally made it to a Red Sox game, I put down my dog, I had a knee injury, I landed an internship, and I loved every minute of it…well, almost every minute of it.
As the semester and year winds down, and I look forward to starting the new decade studying abroad in London, I’ve realized just how much I’ve enjoyed 2019. This year has been hectic, but it has taught me so much about myself. It sounds cheesy, but everything that happened this year, happened at just the right time, and for just the right reasons.
My attitude has taken a 180– I’m finally calling Boston my home, out of habit, not out of force, and I’ve taken my future into my own hands. But none of that would’ve been possible without the ample amount of introspection.
Turning 20 was a weird experience and I’m sure that is what prompted me to take time and figure out who I was, am, and want to be. Don’t get me wrong, it is a huge work in progress, but I finally started being unapologetically myself.
I recently was home for Thanksgiving and met up with some high school friends where I found myself, my close friend Lily, and a friend of a friend all talking about people’s energies and how attitudes can impact a room full of people without even speaking a word. I went home that night thinking about our lengthy conversation which covered a lot of very out-there thoughts and realized that, number one, they were right, and number two, I had been creating a persona for myself through continuous reflection in 2019.
How’d I do it? It took countless hours of self-care, journaling, walking, trial and error, and alone time. For me, it became about doing things that made me step outside my comfort zone, since the best memories I have all came out of actions I had to push myself to do, like coming to BU. I wanted to show my confidence and values off. The idea of manifesting wasn’t too far off from what I was doing.
It sounds a bit crazy, I get that. It’s hard to put into words how 2019 affected me and how it will continue to affect me in 2020. I refuse to go into a new decade with a negative aura and mind set. Self-reflection is an intimidating thing to do and most people laugh at it, assuming that it does nothing, but it was one of the best things I learned how to do this year.
With the power of myself at my fingertips, 2019 has taught me how to be critical about my life rather than others, and has only made me a stronger, healthier, and happier person.
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