The Art of Texting

Can we all agree that texting is the best? Whether you are sitting alone in the Caf or trying to avoid making awkward eye contact with a certain someone walking down the hallway, we can always count on texting to keep us occupied. Regardless of if you are chatting up a friend or sending witty and flirty texts to that new (or old) guy, it is very important for everyone to master the Art of Texting. 

“The Stage-5 Clinger”

We all have that one “friend” who clearly doesn’t understand the art of texting.  Sometimes, they are constantly blowing up your SMS inbox either trying to figure out what the plans are for the weekend or just to talk.  Note to that friend:  both of these topics are perfectly acceptable; just stay away from double and triple texting, (or anything greater than that) if you don’t get an immediate response.  Your friend will eventually respond, give them time.  Don’t make assumptions as to why your friend has not responded yet. And if not getting a response is a constant habit, it is not worth it to keep sending that person texts; it is their loss.  Also, you can pick up the phone and call them, there is no harm in that and it is more efficient.

But if you’re my best friend and I know you’re reading my texts and not responding, you better know I’m going to harass you until you text me back.  Especially if your “read receipt” is on and I can see that you are reading them.  That is just rude! (Note: I would only do this to my closest friends who I know won’t care if I annoy them. Sometimes I just need a response ASAP). Sorry I’m not sorry for doing this.

The Boyfriend, The Boy-friend, and The Hookup

Four words:  Think before you text.  Ah, the beauty of texting!  You can type out what you want to say and evaluate it before you send it.  Take advantage of this.  It is very easy to avoid saying something stupid to your boyfriend or the boy you are hooking up with if you simply re-read your text before hitting send.  At the same time, don’t sit and over-analyze every text.  It’s as simple as this:  if you can’t say it to his face, don’t text it.

Consider the following tips:

1.     Shorter is always sweeter.  Guys don’t always want to read paragraphs on their phones.  The point of texting is that it is quick and easy. (Plus who really wants to type out novels on those little keyboards?? Not me)

2.     Count your “Y’s”.  Too many people are guilty of sending the “Heyyyy” text, myself included.  Think about who you are texting.  Two “y’s” is friendly and is okay when texting your friend, three is flirty and can sometimes be an early way of hinting “I like you,” and four and above is…trying really hard.  Or maybe “heyyyyyy” just means you have had one too many drinks.

3.     Even though chatting with your ‘’best guy-friend’ may seem like NBD, unintentional flirty texts could lead him to believe your relationship is taking a step out of the friend-zone. There is a fine line with friendly and flirty when it comes to guys, so be careful not to ruin your friendship with your BFF by sending one to many kissy faces or exclamation points.

4.     Be aware that by responding with a simple “K” is grounds for tension and also ends a conversation (and any one word answer for that matter).  Avoid it, unless of course you are intentionally trying to prove that you’re mad.  Also, periods also come off that you are mad.  PS, if I am ever texting you and you get a one-word answer from me, I am most definitely mad at you. 

5.     If you’re texting someone you don’t know that well, add a “haha” or a cute emoji when trying to distinguish sarcasm.  If you know him, he should already know when you are being sarcastic and those “haha’s” and emoji’s aren’t always necessary.

6.     Notice the moments when your texts don’t warrant a response.  Sometimes there is a natural end to the conversation or maybe there is just no way to respond to “it was fun.” Don’t read too much into it.

7.     Avoid the follow up text if you are not getting a response as fast as you would like; it can make you look desperate…anything past a double text can make you look like a stalker.

8.     You vs. Ya. “Miss you” is flirty. “Miss ya”= friend-zone…unless that’s what you’re going for.

9.     Don’t wait by your phone for a text.  If you are constantly waiting for his text and obsessing over it, your mind will wonder.  You will begin to make assumptions like he’s totally ignoring me or he doesn’t like me anymore when in reality, you should really calm down because he’s probably in the shower.

10.  Lastly, we are not in sixth grade anymore.  Just because Nathan responded to your last text exactly 30 minutes later, DOES NOT mean you now have to wait another 30 minutes to respond to him.  Simply text him back once you have read his text.  Plus, guys really don’t think that much into a text (or at least I think…).  It’s that easy.

Late Night Texting

It’s a Friday or Saturday night and it’s that time again; you have just enough liquid courage to text that boy.  I’m not saying not to do this; we know this can be fun and wildly entertaining.  To drunk text or to not varies in each situation and it depends on your relationship with that boy.   There is nothing worse than waking up the next morning to reread those texts from last night and realize you have utterly embarrassed yourself.   Then again, admit to it or not, we are all culprits of the drunk text.

Some advice to follow:

1. Text someone who you know definitely wants to hear from you
2. Avoid texting your parents…that could be very awkward the next morning.
3. Do not confess your love to someone when you’re drunk, this is not the time.  Like I said before, this varies in every relationship.  If you are texting a hookup or even someone you’re just crushing on, refrain from making this declaration.  You will feel so awkward the next morning.
4. At the beginning of the night, make a pact with yourself and maybe a friend that you are not going to drunk text that guy tonight.  We know that the later it gets, the more tempting it becomes, but try to just have fun in the moment and not even look at your phone.  But if you’re like most people you’ll just be like “yeah, forget about what I said earlier…”
5. Like I said before, shorter is always sweeter.  You’re drunk, you don’t want to be annoying and rant on forever.  Chances are he is out too and doesn’t want to spend his night out reading paragraphs from you.
6. A big fault of drunk texting is the excessive use of the exclamation point.  We get that you’re excited, but please try to calm down.

“Exting”-Texting your Ex

Again, depending on the situation, this may or may not be a good idea to text your ex.  Keep in mind, there is a reason you two broke up in the first place.  Don’t push your limits with flirty texts or a bunch of emoticons.  If you’re going to talk to your ex, keep it short and sweet.  Simple small talk is perfectly acceptable.  There is no reason to try and be witty or sarcastic.  It is also better to be honest when texting an ex.  If he asks you a question, give him an honest answer.  He is not your boyfriend anymore so there is absolutely no reason to lie to him.  Overall, be respectful.  Don’t send annoying texts to your ex specifically to make him jealous of you.  Be mature and move on with your lives.  Texting your ex should be like texting a friend…even though you used to date.

Obviously, there are different situations and circumstances for everyone and these won’t always be useful in those situations.  Just use good judgment before typing away on your phone.  You can thank me later.

HCXO

http://theblacksheeponline.com/article/the-art-of-exting

http://learntolovetoparty.wordpress.com/2012/11/08/a-useful-guide-to-drunk-texting/

http://www.manrepeller.com/2013/01/the-art-of-texting.html