Attention ladies of “Generation Do It All”: there is no denying that you’re busy with a packed schedule full of schoolwork, running three clubs, organizing Greek events, going to the gym, and going out Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and maybe a few days in between. You have no time! Sometimes you might forget to eat a meal, call your parents, and text your BFF back – and that’s okay. But, what about love? Are you too busy for that?
Love: ain’t nobody got time for that, right? As VIP members of “Generation Do It All,” it’s often easy to forget about the importance of love or even making emotional connections with others. Our nights look something like this: we venture downtown looking our best, dance on a platform (maybe with a potential love interest), and then maybe engage in a dance-floor make-out session (maybe with a potential love interest). Later, we go home, feeling satisfied and certain that we had a great night out. But, it’s not uncommon to wake up the next morning feeling lonely and feeling like maybe we should’ve asked for his number, because why not? But then we remember that we’re too busy for a relationship anyway.Although college can be a really lonely place, we tend to push those feelings of loneliness away, thinking that feeling anything suggests that we’re weak- the opposite of the “superhero,” “Generation Do It All” mentality. Well, you’re not weak for feeling; you are human.
The hook-up culture has perhaps made things too casual, as we seem to only be able to show affection when we’re under the influence. Stepping outside of this realm may feel like a dangerous move, as worries of new distractions come to mind. Although you may be stepping on new ground, there is nothing wrong with wanting something that feels more real; texting that guy from Wednesday night on Sunday does not always suggest a booty call! What if you’re actually interested? Abiding by the social norms that have come to define the hook-up culture makes it nearly impossible to reach for anything deeper.
At Bucknell, we are afraid to be vulnerable because of the norms the hook-up culture seems to set: if you hook up with the same guy three times, maybe there’s potential that this can be more than the typical dance-floor hook up. For this reason, many of us seem to run away before we can even get to the third hook up—to avoid the possibility of being vulnerable as we are too afraid that things will go poorly and that we’ll have our hearts broken. As members of “Generation Do It All,” we don’t have time to get heartbroken. We have to be emotionally stable all of the time, so that we don’t eat our feelings (and blow off our regimented diet), stop going to the gym, and blow off committee meetings for sad movies on Netflix.
We fear rejection. However, when did showing love or affection start meaning we are weak? We need to start expressing ourselves without fear of judgment. When we start to develop feelings for someone, we automatically shut them down, experiencing full on anxiety in thinking the feelings are not going to be reciprocated. The worst part is, most of us will never find out if the feelings are mutual because we refuse to address the subject. We assume “he would let me know if he wanted to be serious with me.” The ironic thing is the other person is probably thinking the same exact thing. There’s a reason why Kanye smiled even less until he met Kim: he kept his love locked down.