A Few Hilarious And Awkward Hook-Up Stories

Take a study break and read about some of the hilarious hook ups that have occurred across campus here at Bucknell.  All names are concealed, but the stories are very much true. Try to contain your laughter if you’re on the second floor of Bertrand, but it could be difficult.  

“Freshman year I was hooking up with this guy and let’s just say we didn’t have a lot of clothes on at the time.  In the middle of fooling around, I could feel my calf muscle tightening and I knew I was getting a Charlie horse.  I tried to ignore it but the pain just got worse and worse.  Finally I had to tell him we had to stop, after which I proceeded to walk around his room butt-naked and massage the Charlie horse out of my calf.  Beyond mortifying.”

“I was flirting with a boy I hadn’t hooked up with since the year before at a party and we eventually ended up going home together.  I was pumped because I really liked him but may have been a little too comfortable there…I didn’t wake up until 11:15 AM the next morning long after he had woken up, showered, and gotten his day started. Whoops.”

“The guy I’m hooking up with and I have a joke about how we both have really big ear lobes. One night I thought he asked ‘Can you lick my ear lobes?’ so I started sucking on them, trying to be all sexual and what not. When I stopped he kind of looked at me funny and said, ‘I asked if you liked my ears, not to lick them…’”

“When I was abroad I was hooking up with a Bucknellian on my program on a consistent basis.  One night after hitting the bars we came back to my place and were ‘enjoying each other’s company’ in my kitchen. To my horror my host mom burst in through the door because she thought someone was trying to rob her from the amount of noise coming from the kitchen.”

“The last two people I had texted on my phone had been my dad and the boy I was hooking up with. I sent a text that said ‘Come over my roommates gone ;)’  Guess who got that text.”

“I hit it off with a freshman boy at a big register one night and ended up walking back to his dorm room with him.  I woke up around 7am a little confused and uncomfortably wedged in the corner of a small bed. Suddenly very awake, I quickly got up, grabbed my coat and walked back to the mods. It was just my luck that all the doors were locked and I realized I had left my phone in his room.  Realizing it was my last resort, I opened up my roommate’s window and flung myself onto her bed, but just my luck, she wasn’t alone.  I had fallen on top of her naked boyfriend who wasn’t quite so happy with his wake up call.” 

“One of the very first weeks of freshman year I got my period in a senior boy’s bed. Enough said.”

“After a long night out I have a bad habit of peeing the bed.  After having to wash my boyfriend’s sheets multiple times, I began setting alarms for 1:30 AM and 3:00 AM with the notes ‘YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO’ and ‘GO PEE!!’  Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.”

“One night I was making out with a dude on a dance floor and got a pretty bad nosebleed. No one including myself could tell under the black lights, but our make out had been caught red-handed once we stepped back into the kitchen together with blood on both of our faces.”

“I was walking downtown after a fun pregame with my friends when I wiped out on the concrete path that goes by the LC.  My knee started bleeding pretty bad – we’re talking blood-running-down-the-shin bad.  We all had a good laugh and stopped to bandage it up before continuing downtown.  I ended up going home with the senior I had just started hooking up with.  During some point fooling around, the Band-Aids had come off and the wound opened up again…the next morning was a little uncomfortable as we both realized his sheets were completely blood stained from my scabbed knee. My b.”

“Freshman year I was scared to take a boy back to my room with my roommate there, so we slept in the Smith common room.”

“One night I hooked up with a senior who I had always thought was cute, but had never really talked to before.   Needless to say, it was a little awkward in the morning but my friends came and picked me up shortly after I woke up.  I borrowed a sweatshirt because it was pretty chilly outside and just grabbed the first one I could find in the closet.  My friends and I all went straight to Ard’s for breakfast and laughed about our nights, especially how random mine had been. Just as I was talking about my slumber party, I saw his roommate walk around the corner and I started to think “No, no, no…” Alas, he, his roommate, two other team members and three senior girls all rolled into the restaurant and saw me.  My mouth dropped as the roommate gave me a big enthusiastic wave, knowing I had slept there, and the dude I had hooked up with gave me a head nod and said ‘Nice sweatshirt.’  They sat down at the table next to us as my friends all started to erupt with laughter and I wanted to crawl under the table from embarrassment.  Needless to say, we finished our meals quickly I sprinted out of Ard’s, not so subtly wearing my one-night-stand sweatshirt.”

“I was hooking up with someone in his bed when I realized I had to puke.  I went to the bathroom, washed myself off, and went back into his room and told him “Well that was gross I guess I’ll leave now…” but he insisted I stay.  Later he got up to go to the bathroom and I had to puke again.  Since the bathroom was occupied, I chose his laundry basket.”