After graduating high school, many of us probably felt like we had the world at our feet. We even perhaps felt like the characters in The Perks of Being A Wallflower: “in that moment, I swear we were infinite.” Infinite possibilities for our future in college, like the people we’d meet and who we’d become; infinite careers we could choose when we “grow up”; and an infinite amount of time to make all this happen. Now, a few years later, many of us 20-somethings may feel like our world suddenly isn’t so limitless. The pressures of finding a good job, living on our own and no longer enjoying life at Bucknell seem like enough to make us feel anxious, unhappy and uncontrollably stressed each day. However, if there’s a silver lining to all this, it’s that we’re all dealing with our own variations of stress as we grow older. And although it’s hard to listen when your world feels like it’s crumbling around you, here are some pieces of advice every 20-something should remind themselves more often than not:
- Everybody isn’t happy all the time. As we’re growing up, people constantly say that things are “starting to become more real.” For the past 20-some years, we knew we’d move on to the next grade of school; stay friends with the same people; and live in the same place. Now, a large amount of our daily unhappiness may derive from the fact that we don’t know exactly what the future holds for us. Although many people around us seem content if they’ve landed a good job post-graduation, most likely there are other things getting them down from day to day. There’s no perfect formula for happiness, and even if someone seems like they “have it all,” they’re probably struggling with their own internal insecurities and doubts. As the saying goes, you never know what’s going on behind closed doors, so don’t think that you need to blame yourself if you specifically aren’t feeling happy 100% of the time.
- Everybody is trying to discover their true calling. For many college students, their majors are structured so that they are on the fast track to a specific career when they first step on campus. For so many others (including myself), our majors allow us to explore a number of career possibilities. This is definitely frustrating and overwhelming….like, how are we supposed to know exactly what we want to do the second we turn our tassels? It’s important to remember that you’re allowed not to like your first job; you’re allowed to try a number of different careers; and you’re allowed to be confused as a post-grad. All your life experiences will eventually culminate into a great job and lifestyle that you’ll live happily for a long time.
- Everybody doesn’t constantly have it together. Let’s face it: social media is so deceiving. We all have people we envy when we see their perfect pictures of their family vacations; restaurants they ate at; and all the friends they have who look so happy together. But remember: life isn’t constantly like a filtered Instagram photo. Rather, what people choose to share are the happy moments in their lives, and not the day-to-day highs and lows. So when you’re having a bad day, remind yourself that although you didn’t eat at a fancy restaurant or visit a tropical island, things could always be worse.
- Everybody feels insecure. Even though we’re supposed to be fully-grown adults and should have “found” ourselves by now, we are constantly changing with each passing year. It’s okay to try a new personal style; cut your hair; be interested in something new; and form new relationships while letting go of old ones. It is so unrealistic to feel 100% satisfied with yourself and your life all day every day. All we can do is try our best to be thankful for what we have and unconditionally love the person that we know we are deep down.
- We still do have all the time in the world. By no means does “20” mean the end of our lives! Sure, college is a blast, but we still have so many amazing things to look forward to. Remember that life doesn’t end when we’re handed our diploma; rather, our lives are truly just about to begin.
Even if all this is easier said than done, take this advice for what it’s worth. Remind yourself that you don’t need to have it all figured out right this moment. As cliché as it might be to say, the beauty of life lies in the journey, not the destination; so sit back, relax and enjoy the crazy ride.