How Relationships Change Through College

College is a time to explore (or question) past relationships, make mistakes, grow as an individual, and learn how to interact with others. As we’ve all heard before, Bucknell’s hookup culture is extremely unique. While it stands out in comparison to other places around the country, even the students on the campus in different grades have completely varying attitudes towards what it means to be in a relationship, or even the desire to be in one. Of course, timing changes everything. Hold on to this roller coaster of a ride as we journey through the four years of love and lust in your college career. 

As a first year, you come into the school possibly in a past relationship, or having recently broken up with S.O. from high school who you swore you were going to marry. The first-year mentality is fairly self-conscious, somewhat scared in a sudden new world of partying, hard classes, and endless cafeteria food. Relationships are scattered; you have a ton of random acquaintances that may never reach further than an awkward “hello” on the first floor of the library. You could have an awkward, short-lived fling with that senior whose name you will forget by the time you graduate. You may also have the awkward hallcest hookup, where trips to that bathroom suddenly become agonizing, perfectly-timed events to avoid the boy or girl from down the hall. And of course, avoiding people will be a skill you develop over the next three years.  Serious relationships are a distant phenomenon; who needs to settle down now when you are just getting college started?

Sophomore year. The wonderful first year of being an upperclassman. You suddenly know tons of people on campus, can spot a first year from a mile away, and are grateful to finally have the right to eat in the Bison. This power trip can get to some of our heads though, especially in terms of relationships. While you may have found a worthy significant other or steady hookup the year before, sophomore year is a time to explore yourself even further. You have two years left of college, so you’re not yet thinking about what a steady relationship or marriage entails; you’re more focused on hooking up with that hot senior before they graduate. You have fun and party, and keep things casual (for now). 

Junior year, the awkward year of no longer being excited to be a sophomore but not yet quite a senior. It is a weird in-between year with the potential of studying abroad looming over your head. You and your friends claim you’re happy to hang with one another at parties, but something deep down sparks a need for you to want something a little bit more than the monotonous one-night stand texts and casual run-ins on campus. All progress may be lost once abroad hits, so you may hold back in fully committing yourself just yet. And who knows – you may even find an exciting lover in a different country (that’s another story). It usually ends in a panicked, am-I-going-to-be-single-forever-with-cats mentality.

Then of course, comes senior year, the year where everyone panics to find their potential wife/ husband on this small campus of 4,000 kids. “Seniors settle down” syndrome hits like wildfire. You are all of the sudden the one single friend in your friend group, and you find yourself third-wheeling dinner dates, meet-ups in the library; you name it, you’re surrounded by couples who seem to throw their public displays of affection right in your face. Even hook-ups become more calculated; are you really going to keep someone around on a Saturday night if you can’t see them fitting into your real world in a few months after graduation? See ya, random sophomore kid who won’t leave you alone. It’s settle down time, and you may or may not be ready for it. 

Yes, we all know that timing can change everything. But what if, for one second, you ignore time and focus on the relationship in front of you? Is this the person you’re going to marry? Could be. But are you having fun and enjoying yourself in the meantime? Always remember that your own well-being is key. While grade year and timing and workload and stress over the future can be key dictators in this crazy world of trying to find a steady relationship, always focus on yourself and what makes you feel better. Good luck relationship hunting, my friends!