Yes, I’ve definitely reconnected with exes. I know I should be closing the door on that chapter of my life and moving on to something bigger and better. But if we didn’t end because we hated each other, then I find it difficult to completely dismiss him from my life. We don’t text or hang out, but we are cordial upon running into each other in my small town. Can you be friends with your ex? I’m not so sure. I’m friendly with my boyfriend from high school. But I guess we aren’t really friends because you see, well, over break, I slept with my ex.
Now what?
There aren’t exactly major ramifications for sleeping with an ex. Sleeping with him doesn’t equate to wanting to be in a relationship with him again. In most cases, neither person involved wants that.
Not to mention, there are benefits. Even though the relationship didn’t work out, he still knows you. Good relations in the bedroom don’t happen overnight. Chances are your likes and dislikes haven’t changed much, and he knows all of them. It’s bound to be pretty good.
Yet, truth be told, even so many years later things can be complicated when you sleep with someone you were involved with. Usually the reason the physical part was once so good is because there was an emotional part attached to it. So, depending on how recent the ex is, things can be tricky.
Four years later curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to know what it would be like. But one time during break was enough. Had it continued, perhaps more feelings would have developed. Sex is complicated. At times it is just a physical act, but other times it means a lot more. Knowing where you stand on your feelings is important. If it’s too soon after you broke up, it might not be worth it.
But if it happens, confronting your feelings is key. Were you hoping deep down your ex would feel a connection and want to start things up again? Were you bored at home during break? Were you curious? Figuring out why it happened determines your next move.
If it was just for fun, then once or a few times should be sufficient and you both can agree you aren’t looking for more and let it go. If it is because you do still have feelings for that person then you need to talk about it and make sure you are on the same page. If unfortunately the conversation doesn’t go as hoped, just remember that person is your ex for a reason.
Sleeping with an ex has its perks and its drawbacks. But chances are even if the sex was good your ex will still remain an ex. If it happens, don’t worry about it. You’re not alone; we’ve been there. And now that it has happened, time to move on!