There are many reasons why Sex and the City was such a popular TV show. Though there were various unrealistic aspects to the series — like the fact that four working women in New York somehow had time to go out together for every other meal, and the fact that the contents of Carrie’s closet were probably worth ten times more than she earned in ten years — women across the nation loved the show. It was fun to get lost in the world of Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha. We were able to relate to Carrie’s drama with Big, Aidan, and Berger, and we could sympathize with Charlotte’s marital troubles with Trey. It was exciting to watch Miranda slowly but surely realize she did in fact love Steve, and hear Samantha’s tough-love advice and apply it to our own lives. The fashions and plotlines may have been a little over the top, but Sex and the City was beloved because we could watch relationships unfold within a tight-knit group of girlfriends we felt like we really knew. Though the women in Sex and the City were way past their college years, all young women could relate to the fictional dramas, heartbreaks, and friendships.
I recently watched an old episode from Season 4, and something Charlotte said really struck me. Directed primarily at Carrie, who was feeling especially lonely on her 30th birthday, Charlotte said: ”Maybe we can be each other’s soul mates, and then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.” True girlfriends are the people who will always be there for you, who make you laugh for no reason, who you trust and confide in, and who pick you up when you’re feeling down. They listen and nod their heads when you ramble on about your encounter with your crush, they tell you when you’re being overdramatic about something, and they motivate you to quit your bad habits. Essentially, your best girlfriends are your family at college. No matter what, you always want to protect your family: in our lives at college, we protect each other from aggressive, older frat boys. On Sex and the City, we watched as the women tried to protect each other from heartbreakers who may have had similar moves to campus frat boys, but just happened to be a little more slick and grown-up.
Charlotte’s quote got me thinking about the hook-up culture that is so prevalent on college campuses today. The hook-up culture emerges from a social scene riddled with alcohol and hormones, with parties taking place in crowded and dark spaces where music plays too loudly to allow a real conversation with someone. Casual sexual relationships are the new norm, and the idea of a real “date” is a foreign concept to many students. All in all, a random hook-up or one night-stand really is just a sexual encounter, with no strings attached. It’s not about finding a soul mate, it’s about having fun.
But is it fun? One of the worst feelings is seeing one of your girlfriends upset, or even distraught, about some jerky guy who either didn’t text her the next morning, or maybe didn’t acknowledge her in a non-party, sober setting after hooking-up. Part of the problem with the hook-up culture is that young women often expect a relationship to emerge from a one-night stand or drunken make-out session. These college women feel used and cheated on, even though there was no prospect of a relationship to begin with.
It is the friendships formed that are most important in the four magical years we are able to spend at college. We girls are each other’s soul mates. I am not advocating that girls go crazy with boys, or that girls assume that there is no hope for serious boyfriends in college — I just want girls to realize the reality that is: if you partake in the hook-up culture that is so pervasive on our campus, take every hook-up with a grain of salt. Don’t let one silly boy get you down, keep your independence, and know that even if you do make a bad decision one night, your girlfriend will not only be there to pick you up in the morning, but will also help you laugh about it and move on. There certainly are people who find their “soul mates” in college, and also those who find them in their forties. The point is, no matter what age or stage of life you may be in, your real girlfriends will always have your back, as Sex and the City demonstrated over the years. Honest friendships are the relationships that consistently keep us sane and grounded, not to mention loved.