Looking Past Commercialized Love this Holiday Season

The holidays are a time of catchy jingles, flashy, somewhat over-the-top decorations, and warm smells.  They are also a time often associated with love.  It seems that every other billboard has an ad with a couple featured, promoting jewelry, chocolate or a romantic getaway with your loved one.  Seventy-five percent of holiday music talks about love.  Need I mention more than the ultimate Christmas hit: “All I Want for Christmas is You”?  But the issue is that so many of us do not have that special someone, that loving “you” that Mariah Carey so fabulously belts out.  And it’s not just music and advertisements.  Every (excuse my generalization) holiday movie touches upon love in some way too.  There’s Love Actually, Tbe Holiday, White Christmas…even Elf and The Santa Clause have love stories in them.  And Hallmark basically screams romantic love phrases at you in every one of their cards.  So how do those of us not partaking in the significant-other portion of the holidays handle it when it seems like you need a loved one to enjoy them to his or her fullest? 

The cynic in me says that this is a solid time to step into the kitchen and bake until you can’t bake anymore.  I couldn’t imagine better company than Betty Crocker and the Pillsbury Doughboy.  Then you could give all of your baked goods away to friends, family, and even the occasional neighbor. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll meet someone who likes your baking so much that they soon become that significant other.

But then I realize that even though every ad and every commercial illustrates the holidays as a time for love, there is a love so much deeper than just the romantic kind.  Every day of the year we are surrounded by loved ones, whether they are friends, family, coworkers, or just the friendly barista at the local coffee shop. These people don’t go away when Santa (or the Hannukah armadillo) come out.  They’re still there, and you should embrace the relationships and connections you have with them. 

My go-to is always my friends.  Even though some of your friends may be in relationships, they still want to spend time with you.  So plan an event.  Secret Santa or a White Elephant Party are perfect ways to get a huge group of friends together, laughing and catching up on life.  Pull out a little Pinot Grigio and spinach and artichoke dip and it’s a guaranteed good time. 

Then there is always your family.  Sometimes familial love is exactly what you need.  Plan a dinner and movie night, where you go out to a fancy restaurant, then head home to watch a favorite film.  We’re big fans of Christmas Vacation and Dodgeball in my family, but pick whatever film you know you will all enjoy. 

And you know what, sometimes it’s even nice to have a little alone time.  It seems like everyone is always on the move this time of the year – shopping, baking, cooking, mailing cards, collecting receipts to see the damage that’s been done to your bank account.  Who’s to judge if you need to just curl up in bed with a good book or an episode of Friends?  Maybe this will make you feel better than any family dinner or white elephant gift could. 

Just remember that this time of the year is one of happiness, where you should embrace all that you have.  The term “holiday cheer” is not only spread through romantic gestures.  It’s spread through every day activities and connections made with those around you.  And it’s not like you’re the only one out there without a significant other.  We singles are certainly not a dying breed, and we should embrace all that we have.  There are so many other wonderful things about the holidays and so many people that want to spend this special time with you.