You know that person you’re not dating but you wouldn’t call them your friend, either? If you have someone in your life that fits this description, you’ve fallen victim to something called the “in-between stage.” It’s crucial that you navigate this confusing middle-ground as carefully as possible in order to not risk overstepping but also to ensure you have the best possible chance of making this person your significant other when the time is right.
This is a fair warning that although a lot of people have come out of the “in-between stage” alive and unscathed with their new significant other, it’s very possible that this is as far as you and your partner could get together. It’s usually for the better if you don’t end up leveling up to the “relationship” stage after you’re in this purgatory stage; it’s easier to move on from someone before you get too attached to them and add the label of Significant Other.
It can be super uncomfortable and even awkward to be the first one to admit that you want someone to be more than your “in-between stage” person. What are you even supposed to call them? Your special friend? Your friend, but more than friend? Your peer that you also hook up with? The person you’d tell your siblings about but not your parents?
The best advice anyone could give would be to communicate and listen. Being thoughtful, open-minded, and calculated are also great things to be in this situation. Nobody can read minds, no matter how well they know you; you’ll probably have to swallow your pride once or twice in order to get what you want.
It’s also worth mentioning that sometimes the “in-between stage” happens as a result of wanting to be with someone, but one (or both!) of you simply isn’t ready. In the case this trope fits your current love life, you have to be patient! Rushing into things is never a good idea. As they say, a strong relationship can’t be built on a shaky foundation.
If you want something to happen, you have to be as honest and transparent as possible, both so you can build up trust and stay on the same page. Just try your best to read the room and see when it might be a good idea to mention the idea of getting out of relationship purgatory.
Navigating the “in-between stage” will always be uncomfortable and awkward. Just remember that even pilgrims had to go through this, and when people become half-robot or drive flying cars, they will also have to deal with it. Picturing pilgrims trying to talk to each other about their feelings is bound to make you feel better about your situation if it isn’t a good one.
And if things don’t work out, Legally Blonde (2001) will always be the greatest pick-me-up film!