One Crazy-Haired Girl’s Search for the Perfect Product

It’s been called unruly, frizzy, crazy, or a million words to beat around the fact that having curly or wavy hair is intimidating, confusing, and oftentimes downright scary (she was scary spice for a reason, okay). One day you find a product that you think is great, and then the next; your hair (your very scary and crazy hair) has adapted to the product like a virus and it no longer works. Sometimes, it feels like searching for the perfect product for curly/wavy hair is like how some women search for “the one.” I’ve never been someone who believes in a “soul mate,” but I am definitely a girl who has fantasized about my “hair mate.” That perfect product that would tame my ridiculously wavy, frizzy hair into the soft, mermaid-like hair I knew it could be. It’s taken me ten years, hundreds of magazine articles, countless hours surfing the Internet, and a million conversations with fellow sufferers, but I finally found it (or them, really). I have found the one(s).
I guess I should start by telling you a little about my hair, so you can fully understand all of the experience I have in the matter. Up until the age of 11, I had (very thick) but straight hair, with a little wave to it. I honestly never even thought about my hair, not only because I was a slightly intense, mud-loving tomboy, but because it was so easy. Shower, shampoo, condition, done. Then, it seemed like all of a sudden, my hair turned on me. It went from being straight with a wave to curls that Shirley Temple might have envied. As you might imagine, I was about ready to deal with this issue as Lindsay Lohan was ready to deal with rehab (any of the times). It was like puberty came, and decided that I would be its walking sign for side effects.
I was also a swimmer, which meant I spent at least two hours in a chlorine-filled pool everyday, with my hair smashed under a rubber swim cap. Did I also mention I have insanely thick hair? Right. Just take a second to imagine. Tragic. It took me twenty minutes to brush it out (when I worked up the courage to try), and then it would dry in a giant, long, mouse-brown frizz ball. No wonder I dreamed about being a mermaid. Ooh, the memories.
This is when I started going through absolutely every product in drugstores. Frizz serum, gel, mousse, ocean sprays, leave in conditioners, hair masques, you name it, I’ve tried it. My hair either ended up greasy, hard (like you could snap it), sticky, or just a slightly less frizzy version of what I started with. Eventually, I just gave up, put it in a bun, and called it a day.
It wasn’t until I was 17 that I started to get ahold of things. I had never touched the color of my hair until then, but as one of the greatest tragedies of my mother’s life was the gradual darkening of my blonde hair to a very mousy brown (alongside it’s curling), she convinced me to start highlighting it. By coloring my hair, I accidentally (and thankfully) relaxed it. Instead of being crazy curls, the bleach made my hair a more manageable wavy. Very wavy. I was still using drug store products at this time, but after going back to my stylist to keep up and spread my highlights, I finally worked up the courage to ask her about what the heck to do about my hair. This information is all due to her.
Before we even get into the product side of things, let’s talk basics. This applies to girls of all hair types. It also doesn’t matter whether you color your hair or not, but for my friends who also get their hair painted on every few months, pay apt attention. If you use drug-store products for shampoo and conditioner, stop immediately. I don’t care if you really like that it smells like nectarines or whatever, stop using it. They have sulfates in them, which dry out and damage your hair. Yes, even if it says, “ultra-moisturizing” on it. The only drug-store line that has sulfate-free products, that I know of, is L’Oreal. They recently created an affordable sulfate-free line. I highly recommend switching to this line of products if you are on a tighter budget.
After being let in on this knowledge, I switched to a sulfate-free brand immediately and haven’t looked back. Yes, they’re different than what you’re used to, and yes, they’re more expensive, but not as much as you might think. Because the quality of the product is so rich, you don’t use nearly as much of it, so it lasts much longer, and actually evens out with constantly buying drugstore shampoos and conditioners.
I use mostly DevaCurl products, the first of which is the low-poo cleanser, because I color my hair, and the one-condition conditioner, because my hair is very long, thick, and dries out easily. I buy both of these products in the biggest bottles, a 32 Oz. The cleanser lasts me about 2-3 months (seriously), and the conditioner lasts me about 5 (seriously). They are both $39.95. The cleanser might turn you off at first, because there is no lather like normal drug store shampoos, but that is because it’s sulfate free (sulfates make shampoo lather). Don’t add more to your wash expecting this will happen- it won’t, and you need to use only a small amount. Your hair is just as clean, and healthier, so don’t worry about it.
Another trick I’ve learned over the years with my hair is how often and how exactly to wash it. I’ve learned that we are not supposed to wash our hair as often as our straight-haired friends. If you have thick, curly or wavy hair, you are absolutely not supposed to wash your hair every day. This might sound gross to you, and it did to me at first, but it is the truth. Washing your hair every day dries it out even further, and contributes to it being unhealthy, frizzy, and undefined. Just so you’re not confused- I’m not saying don’t shower every day. Please continue to do that. You can also rinse your hair with water without washing it, in case you were unaware.
I probably only wash my hair four times a week, and that’s a lot by most curly-haired guides (most say 2-3). I work out often, and I have exceptional hygiene, so don’t think I’m some sort of granola hippie who doesn’t believe in showering. I love to shower. My hair never looks dirty or greasy (or feels dirty or greasy), or else I wouldn’t follow this regime. If you have thinner hair, this might not work as well for you.
Another tip: when you are washing your hair, only massage the cleanser or shampoo into your roots, not the length of your hair. Instead, let the shampoo rinse through the rest of your hair. This helps to keep your ends from drying out, which will prevent frizz. When you condition, condition primarily the ends (first, so that they saturate longer), and then put less on as you get closer to the roots.
I only use two products after this, and my hair is good to go. I start with Argan Oil, another version of which is Moroccan Oil. Argan Oil is less expensive, but only slightly. I buy the 3.4 Oz., which can be $12 if you buy online or $24 if you buy in Harmon, and this bottle lasts me about 5 months. This is the product that changed my life. It is almost all that you need. After my hair has dried a little (after toweling, etc) I apply about a quarter-sized amount to my ends and all the way up my hair except for the roots. Apply evenly, and do not apply to the roots, or else they will look greasy because this is a very heavily saturated product. This product completely hydrates your hair, and in doing so, defines your curls or waves very nicely.
Any leftovers on my hands I then massage into my roots. My hair is almost all of the way down my back and very thick, so it’s best to start off with a dime-sized amount and then apply more if you think you’ll need it. This product can also go on your skin. It is the most amazing product I have ever used. After your hair dries completely, it may or may not have some frizz (mine usually does), and so I spray on DevaCurl Set it Free, which is a moisturizer and eliminates frizz. I buy it in the 16 Oz, which is $18.95, and it lasts me about 5 months. I then massage it into my hair, and I’m good to go. I have beautiful, healthy, defined waves, and my hair looks like it has no product in it. Ever since I started using these products, I have received endless compliments on my mermaid-like hair (finally!). I only blow it out now if I’m in the mood, and I’ve never been happier or more satisfied with my hair. I guess that’s what it feels like to find the one(s).