These days, it seems like people are more interested in what’s going on in their virtual worlds than their face-to-face conversations. Everyone is connected 24/7 on social media, and we rarely shut down our devices, let alone put them down. Unfortunately, each of us can probably admit that we, too, have fallen prey to this trap; at some point, we’ve missed out on an important experience because we were too engrossed in a conversation being conducted in cyber space. Even if you’ve never personally committed this faux pas, you’ve certainly seen it done. I think we can all agree it’s a behavior that warrants being addressed.
The Science Behind It
Sixty-seven percent of cell phone users find themselves checking their phones for messages, calls, social media updates without being prompted by a tone or vibration –we’ve all been that person sitting alone at a table in the Caf while waiting for our friends to show up, scrolling through our newsfeeds as if they demanded our immediate attention. Studies have shown that young adults send an average of 109.5 text messages each day, which averages out to about 3,200 texts each month. In addition to these already shocking numbers, research shows that college students receive 113 additional text messages and check their cell about 60 times in a typical day. College students also spend approximately seven hours each day interacting with information provided by technology and using it as a communication resource. Technology addiction is a real thing! The pleasure that we feel from using cell phones and other devices increases levels of dopamine and serotonin produced by our brains… crazy, right?!
Trapped By Technology
In some ways, we can’t help that we’re highly dependent on technology, since we were raised on it. However, we can change the way we use the resources that we have been given. When we use it incorrectly, technology can confine us and take away from our “real” lives. Hiding behind a screen can give one a false sense of confidence, making a person feel close to people online that they hardly know in reality. Feeling the need to be constantly connected can also take away from the “here and now” aspect of life — why not enjoy your coffee date instead of finding the perfect Instagram filter for your cappuccino? How about just having a good laugh with your friend instead of immediately turning to your phone to tweet her latest laugh-out-loud quote? We are the products of our surroundings, and though we’ve heard that a million times, it’s completely true. Simply make an effort to be aware of how many times you check your phone or open your lap top each day. You’ll probably lose count long before the day is over, but you’ll begin to realize how prevalent this problem has become.
Compromising Your Ability to Communicate Effectively
Spending time with people who are constantly on social media is pretty annoying; they often barely contribute to the conversation or make an effort to engage themselves in their surroundings. It’s so noticeable when someone is more interested in their texting conversation than what’s being said, and it’s not pleasant. Worse, think about how professors feel when kids text throughout their lectures – it’s rude, but not only that, you’re only doing yourself an educational disservice by not paying attention. Instead, try to look at the material or conversation being presented from a different perspective or connect it to something that interests you. Even though we sometimes get caught in boring or uncomfortable situations, turning to our phone doesn’t need to be our immediate response. We seem to panic when we misplace our phones or freak out when we have to make a phone call or have a face-to-face conversation because we’re so accustomed to texting, which is often considered the “easy” way out of a situation.
Evaluating the Importance
How urgent is that phone call? If you don’t respond to that email on the spot are there going to be severe consequences? If the answer is yes, then by all means, don’t hesitate to take care of business! Just be sure to do so in a courteous manner by excusing yourself and making it as brief as possible. Giving your full attention to someone not only makes them feel important and validated, but also allows you to connect with them on a deeper level. So, weigh your options and decide which is more important to you in the moment: sending that photo in the group message that you have with your friends or hearing about how much the trip that your friend recently took meant to her.
Changing the Norm
It’s not easy to break old habits, and the culture of modern technology is certainly not all negative. Try taking small steps toward limiting your cell phone use when in a “real life” social situation. Silence your phone and put it in your bag or if you really feel the need to have it, keep it in your pocket on vibrate–that way your company won’t feel like they’re the third wheel on a date you’re having with your iPhone because it’s sitting on the table between the two of you. Another option is to agree, as a group, to leave your cell phones in another room while you’re together so that everyone can be “present” during your hang-outs. During such a busy time in your life, it’s hard enough to find a time that works for all of your friends to get together, so when that finally happens, you really want to make the most of it! If you feel uncomfortable or annoyed with your friend’s cell phone use while you’re together, don’t be afraid to speak up and let her know how it makes you feel — if she really values your friendship, she shouldn’t have any problem putting it away. And if you’re feeling like you really need a complete break, try completely disconnecting for a day, (aside from necessary school-related work)…okay, maybe just an hour, for starters!