We all know that feeling of being attracted to a friendship with someone we could potentially be sexually attracted to. Coined a friend crush, people can often be drawn towards a person in the interest of developing nothing more than a close friendship. We can be drawn towards someone for all the same reasons we would find in a romantic pursuit, but the extent of the relationship being sought after is simply a friendship. Oftentimes, however, a close friendship with someone can develop into one person having feelings for the other. And those feelings can be intensified when a friend crush is mistaken for a romantic crush. So, here’s the question: what do you do when someone mistakes your friend crush for a real crush?
Step 1: Discuss what is going on.
Explaining how you feel and how they feel about you opens the roads for discussion and understanding. Helping a person understand what your reasons are for the time spent with them and actions you make allow the person to understand how you feel about them. Though perhaps the hardest and most uncomfortable step, discussion is also the most important step in keeping a friendship from breaking under the stress of misperceived feelings. It keeps a person from guessing and puts everything out into the open.
Step 2: Distance yourself from the person.
Yes, you may enjoy the time spent with the person you have a friend crush on, but spending a large amount of time with someone can intensify feelings. This is the step when you have to be the most selfless. Even though this person may be your emotional safety valve, the feelings he or she may have for you can lead to his or her confusion and hurt. Therefore, distancing yourself is a step you have to take if you really care about your friend. Doctors claim that large amounts of quality time lead to deeper and more important relationships, often leading to shared moments and experiences. Additionally, many consider the time spent with someone else as an investment in a long-term relationship—often a romantic relationship. Therefore, even if you treasure the time spent with your friend crush, it is important to distance yourself for their sake.
Step 3: Watch your actions.
If you find it impossible to stop spending time with your friend crush, either because of classes, activities, or living in close proximity, it is time to take a step back and understand which of your actions are being misinterpreted by your friend. Watch being overly affectionate, such as giving compliments and engaging in physical contact. Making jokes about your close relationship and what it means, such as claiming you are getting married or pseudo-dating, can be confusing to each of you as to the status of your relationship.
Enjoyment and comfort around a friend can turn into a friend crush. And if you intensify the time spent and affection given to your friend crush, he or she may mistake it for romantic interest and develop feelings. If this is the case, take time to reevaluate the relationship. Make sure you are taking care of the person and not sending mixed signals. Remember that if you really care about your friend, you should take the time to do what is best for him or her.