You grew up watching movies and reading books about true love and high school sweethearts, to Instagram pages dedicated to love and adorable TikTok challenges. Yet, you may have never really seen those scenarios play out for yourselves. However you may feel about Valentine’s Day, it’s obvious the holiday markets towards the love and happiness between two intimate partners (even if you celebrate it with family or in the alternate form of Galentine’s Day).
With each new crush, there’s always that dream: maybe this will be it. It may turn into a situationship or just another lecture in “How Not to Date 101”. It may feel, especially as you navigate college and your twenties, that everyone around you has already experienced the things you may not have already. This may include a first kiss, date, relationship, etc. With a rise in sneaky link/hookup culture on social media, you can feel even more isolated. As some people appear to value physical intimacy within casual and non-exclusive relationships, you may question if you’re expecting too much within a warped view of what a relationship is. I am here to tell you, you are not alone.
I too, become tired of feeling like the odd one out. I often catch myself wondering if Snow White was simply speaking for herself only when she said “someday my prince will come.” It’s easy for those on the outside looking in to tell you with each awkward or unfortunate experience, “it’s okay, the right one will come soon”. I’ll be honest and say it will truly make us feel like we’ve been everywhere in the kingdom and found nothing but frogs. Every confused, apprehensive, and at times irritating feeling we have is valid, but let us not feel like having a partner is an end all be all. I say to you, this Valentine’s Day and every day forward let’s not focus so much on the fact that we are single. You may be thinking, Morgan, when everyone’s exchanging roses, getting teddy bears, and posting their significant others, how am I not to?
It may seem cliche, but the best solution in my opinion is to begin dating ourselves and getting to our bag. We must learn to prioritize our academic, professional, mental, and physical well-being before we can factor in anyone else’s. Relationships are not solely about the experience, but what each person brings to the table to support, uplift, and collaborate with the great qualities of the other. You can start this process today by simply getting your favorite meal or drink, spending time with great music and a journal, or finding another way to practice self-care. It’s in these moments we are alone, we can look at ourselves with a clear and present focus. We can also learn our love languages, desires, needs, and what we can do to honor them. While you may already have a lot of love for yourself or may be in the process of discovering that love, write yourself a love letter. What is it that makes you, you? What’s your favorite feature? How do you desire to be loved?
Take this letter and reflect as you move through your journey, and make sure you don’t compromise or settle for anything less than what you deserve and desire. From one late bloomer to another, roses don’t bloom overnight, but they still bloom. Trust the process and trust yourself.
XOXO,
Morgan