Let’s get real, ladies, breakups suck. And not just a little, they suck a whole hell of a lot. One of my best friends is going through the getting-over-him stage of a breakup and as her designated shoulder to cry on, I picked up on some things that made her feel a little better. I asked her to tell me a little bit more about what helped her get through the toughest part of things, lets hope a few can help you too.
HerCampus(HC): What do you think was the biggest thing that helped you initially?
Amanda (A): Probably friends, I mean if I didn’t have you guys here I would have been a mess for days on end, like just talking about everything when it was still so new was key. For me, talking was one of the biggest things, ‘cus I tend to isolate myself sometimes, but it really helped to have you guys around me alot.
HC: What are some of the things you kept telling yourself to sort of help the process along?
A: REGRET NOTHING. Really, just try to remember that everything happens for a reason and the you 100% deserve better. Also that it’s not the end of the world. The bad ones come and go, just let them go.
HC: What did you do to help yourself move through it?
A: I did a lot of self reflecting, maybe too much at some points, but it helped me realize that, you know, I was truly myself in the relationship and that the breakup was really on him, I didn’t do anything wrong. I also kinda have school work to thank, as crazy as that sounds. It happened at a really busy time, academically, for me and I had no choice but to put in out of my mind and work. Good breakup bops too. Those always help.
HC: Biggest piece of advice for girls going through a breakup right now?
A: Though it’s probably one of the hardest things to do at first, accept it. The more you accept that what happened has happened, the faster you can realize that, ultimately, it was for the better. Also, if you see the relationship as practice for the person you were meant to be with, it helps you grow and realize that this isn’t the end and that he just wasn’t the one, even if you thought he was at the time.
HC: Do’s and don’ts post breakup?
A: Do-
DO things that make you happy and make you laugh, for me that was watching a stand up comedy special on Netflix and eating Ice Cream.
DO take the time to let yourself feel sad and emotional, keeping your feelings pent up always ends poorly
Don’t-
DON’T let it drag you to a place you don’t want to be, remember that you are a strong, beautiful person and if he doesn’t see that then good fucking riddance.
DON’T keep looking at the pictures, delete them, staring at them is just gonna make you sadder.
HC: What was the hardest part for you?
A: I think probably losing that connection I had. It’s not so much the person I miss so much, it’s more of the connection. That had to be the worst. That and the fact that he asked to be friends right away which was the most dick move I’ve ever seen.
So there you go, friends, I hope you find this slightly helpful, and remember that you are stronger than you’ll ever know.
*names changed for privacy*